…I used to have a See and Say at my grandmothers house. There was a panel with a picture of a robin on it that had the same song. Except, I think it just said, “The bird says…” I’ve always been able to recognize that song as a robin’s because of that See and Say, since I was about 5 years old.
Julie died just about an hour ago.
I’m in Wisconsin now. Had a bus trip from hell to get here (Megabus – I don’t know that I recommend it), and I’ve been in the dairy state since 6am yesterday morning.
I worked a little yesterday (even with only 3 hours sleep), showered, and then went over to Julie’s house. She’s aged at least 20 years since I saw her a few weeks ago at Easter. She was actually up and about when we got there, but then after about an hour or so, hospice nurses and more family showed up, so my mom and I left to try to ease the cramped feeling the house was beginning to feel. She’s still in an immense amount of pain.
My mom got up this morning and headed over without me while I stayed home and worked. (Luckily I have a job that allows me to be able to work from any remote location). Later, mom called to say they were taking Julie to the hospital, since her pain was not in control, even with enough meds flowing through her to kill a horse. My mom asked if I could clean the bathrooms for her today so she wouldn’t have to worry about it. Of course, I obliged, then deemed it necessary to pick up and clean the entire house. (Shopping isn’t my only therapy – cleaning is too.) So, yeah. Now, I’m sitting at the dining room table with my laptop on, watching the weather channel since the whole area is under a tornado watch. The weather today encompasses the general feeling around our family. Unsettled, with a possibility of a disaster.
She did. I read a post of hers and she reminded me that I CAN blog, even if, to me…nothing is happening in my little world. Things are happening. I just don’t always think they matter. Sometimes, I get caught up in other blogs, where people have more going on than getting excited about Wednesday nights because a new episode of Ghost Hunters is going to be on. Blogs where people do things – like my BFF’s blog. I LOVE reading her blog. (Mostly because she does things I’ll probably never do!) It makes me wonder, why should I bother writing about my Sunday of leaf raking (again), working on L’s slideshow for her wedding and having a BBQ with the in-laws? Who wants to read that – how is THAT exciting or worth anyone’s time?
I need to stop trying to be entertaining and start being myself. (Because, in all honesty, I’m pretty entertaining, without trying. Read: I’m a dork.)
Anyway – things in my life are pretty tied up with Auntie Julie, but I’m still living my life as normally as I can. This too, shall pass.
So…without further adieu…a real post!
Today I am excited because my work started “Casual Summer” a whole month early – meaning today. This isn’t TOO huge of a deal since I pretty much wear what I want most days, unless I have a meeting with important people. However, with this announcement, I shall start wearing flip flops immediately. I might even add a new pair of jeans to my arsenal. Hmmm, maybe I should wait until I visit Martini and try to find a pair then. Anyway – hooray for casual summer!
Mostly because I have SARS or Mad Cow disease (or just a cold) and it’s making it hard to just survive, no less have an original blog entry.
To summarize, breast cancer sucks.
Requesting good thoughts and prayers…
…again for Julie. Her battle is becoming more and more difficult. I may be going home in a few days, more than likely to say goodbye. I love her dearly and pray that she could make it through this, but I don’t know if that’s possible anymore.
Please keep her (and our entire family) in your thoughts and prayers. We’re all having a hard time and could use all the support we can get!
(Give your mom, sister, daughter, aunt or best friend a hug and tell them how much you love them! It breaks my heart that I might not make it home in time to do so with my aunt. )
I haven’t gotten “the word” yet to go home, but I’ve practically already packed my things so I can leave whenever.
I promise promise promise my blog won’t always be sad and gloomy. It’s just that, that’s all that I can think about.
I’m seriously considering getting another tattoo. And this time, taking the plunge and getting one on my upper arm. This is the design I’ve been throwing around. I’d get this (geisha only), along with traditional cherry blossoms around her. And more pink than orange. I know, it’s kinda small, but you get the point. Thoughts?