Archive for June, 2010

I figured out how to spend money at the library.

5 Comments
Posted 30 Jun 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category I am awesome, retail therapy

Only I could do it. I know how to spend money ANYWHERE. And today I did it at the library.

(And no, not on late fees. DURR.)

(But yes, I’ve done that too.)

Anyway, after watching the trailer for the new Harry Potter movie due out in November (Thanks a lot TIFFANY) I made the noble decision that I’m going to read all the Harry Potter books this summer and watch all the movies, so when this one comes out – I’M READY. And yes, I’m implying that I’ve never read or seen any Harry Potter anything. (I can feel a nerd rebellion happening. Can you? It’s like a stampede of dudes with wizard pointers and lightening bolt face tattoos. Not that kind.)

So, off to the library! I should mention I haven’t been to a public library for probably 10 years – no exaggeration. I’ve been buying books and also a lot of NOT READING so libraries have no purpose in my life. However, I am not planning on buying all the Harry Potter books because dudes – that’s a lot of dollars.

My first stop was making sure my library card was even working anymore. Turns out it was. And I didn’t owe them any money! Considering I was a mere $1200 in debt when I used my library card last and couldn’t pay it off for the life of me, this was welcome news. Then…off to the card catalog! Oh, they don’t have those anymore? Yeesh.

I am not even joking you when I say that the last time I was in the library I had to use a real card catalog. At the time, the Walker Library had just installed COMPUTERS! WITH INTERNET! AND A WEBSITE! that was not exactly functional yet. Now, there’s fancy stations with the ability to search the catalog AND RESERVE your books, all at your fingertips! Technology is sexy. Anyway, I navigated the website, and found that Harry Potter books were in fact kept in the children’s section. Awesome. I’m nearing 30 and checking out children’s books. Whatevs.

Except, they’re out. OF EVERY HARRY POTTER BOOK EVER WRITTEN. Apparently not only did I have the idea to read some Harry Potter over the summer, but so did every other child person in the metro area. I put the first book on hold. As well as two adult books recommended by my mother and another I’ve been meaning to read. It seems as though the only way to get the book you want to read is to reserve it and have it delivered to the library of your choice.

(Do you see I’m number 445 of 445 people who have requested the new Tami Hoag book? I’ll probably be moved to the #1 position in 2037.)

I walked out of the library without anything to read and was about to leave when I saw something called “The Bookstore.” I walked in and HOLY CRAP! They’re selling old books removed from circulation! They had a cart labeled “Children’s Classics” and this is where I went buck-wild.

In case it’s not clear in the photo, I walked out of there with:

Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White
The Mouse and the Motorcycle by Beverly Cleary
Ramona Quimby, Age 8 by Beverly Cleary
Ramona the Brave by Beverly Cleary
Ramona Forever by Beverly Cleary
Ramona and her Mother by Beverly Cleary
The Missing Piece by Shel Siverstein
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
Walt Disney’s Alice in Wonderland

All these books FOR $9.43. $9.43!!!

Obviously I have a minor obsession with Ramona Quimby books. I am essentially forcing Abbers to read them as well.

I also had On the Banks of Plum Creek and The Long Winter by Laura Ingalls Wilder in my hands, but since I didn’t have the beginning books in the series, I put them down.

If anything while I wait for my Harry Potter book to become available, I’ll read Charlotte’s Web since I’ve never read it before. And then I’ll read Harry Potter. And then maybe someday I’ll pick up a book with swearing and murder in it like I normally do.

six months + six dresses: april + june

5 Comments
Posted 25 Jun 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category paparazzi, retail therapy, six dresses + six months

Yeah, I know. I totally still owe you a picture of May’s dress, but i don’t have one yet so BEAR WITH ME.

Without further adieu….

APRIL!

Sorry about the awkward pose.

Yeah. I’m laying down. Probably not the best shot to show off the best dress of the three I have, but it’s the only photo I have at this point. DEAL. Anyway, this dress is from Anthropologie and I LOVE IT WITH ALL MY HEART. I would wear it every day if I could. I tried finding it on their website, but the hubs bought this for me all the way back in April while we were in Vegas and I don’t know if they have it anymore. Plus, when I went to their site to find it I got really REALLY distracted by their pretty clothes and suddenly I had $400 worth of stuff in my cart and my credit card in my hand. I stopped myself. Somehow. But yes, I LOVE THIS DRESS. Maybe someday I’ll get a photo where I’m standing. In the meantime, enjoy my Miss America smile and my bangs growing out into MY FACE.

JUNE!

POCKETSSSSSS!

Here I am contemplating how on God’s green earth I found an awesome dress WITH POCKETS! AT TARGET! This is now my second favorite dress. Mostly because of the pockets. But also? Because it was like, $20. What did we do without Target, people? See those sunglasses? TARGET. Boo-to-the-YEAH.
(Also, if you’re interested – Watch: Fossil, Necklace: Personalized Keepsake Locket by Justice Juels.
Inquisitive, Kick-Ass Attitude: Brought to you by YOURS TRULY)

Why rompers are bad

7 Comments
Posted 25 Jun 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category I am a moron, not so much, retail therapy

Recently, I purchased a romper at Target. I have since come to realize that I was drawn to the fabric print more than the “fashion-don’t” itself, but hindsight is 20/20, eh? I thought to myself, “I have an outdoor concert to go to on Saturday – if it’s hot, THIS WILL BE PERFECT!” WRONG.

Anyway, ROMPERS. In and of itself sound like toddlerwear. BECAUSE THEY ARE. Adults are not meant to wear rompers..for a number of reasons.

Do you see the results? MEANT FOR BABIES.

Right, so…why are rompers wrong? Well, first – let me tell you: I had fully intended on taking a photo of myself in this romper I purchased (see below) REGARDLESS of how I looked in it. THAT’S how confident I was that I wouldn’t look like shit. I was SO WRONG.

The romper in question

I tried it on in my bedroom (Do you understand that I actually purchased one without trying it on? Who the hell do I think I am? Heidi Klum!?) and OH MY GOD. Hot mess doesn’t even begin to describe what I looked like in this thing.

The romper in question did three things for my body, none of which are good:

  1. Hey, look! You’re five months pregnant! Oh, you’re not? WELL YOU LOOK LIKE YOU ARE.
  2. A serious case of NoAssAtAll. And trust me, after bearing a child and being on this very earth for nearly 30 years, I HAVE AN ASS.
  3. Yeah, I know…I have shitty posture. This romper is all, “Here! LET ME ACCENTUATE THAT FOR YOU.”

So, as quickly as it was on, it was off and lying on my bedroom floor. I poked it with a stick a few times to make sure it was really dead and stuck it back in the Target bag whence it came.

After this horrorshow, it dawned on me how horrible it would have been had I actually decided to wear it to this concert. Let’s just pretend for a second that I did look like the fabulous Target model wearing it and got to this outdoor concert. Enter…the PortoPotty.

When children wear rompers, most of the time there are crotch snaps to access poo and pee filled diapers. When ADULTS wear rompers, you pull them down to empty your bladder/poop tubes.

I would have had to sit virtually naked in a PortoJohn to cut a wiz.

I NEVER want to be naked in a PortoPotty.

EVER.

Also, the vision of the lock malfunctioning and the door being opened causing a line of people at the toilets and the entire festival grounds taking a peek at me with A ROMPER AROUND MY ANKLES and nothing else on is both hilarious and probably the worst thing ever.  (You know, aside from being locked in a room with “Afternoon Delight” at 11 and on repeat. (PCU! WHAT!))

::breathes::

I took the romper back on Wednesday.

Consider yourself warned.

Because I’ve already teared up TWICE today…

2 Comments
Posted 25 Jun 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category blog bidnass, other people are awesome

…I expect you to as well. At your desk. At work. In front of people.

Two wonderfully awesome blog posts I’ve read today:

Love Stories – A Wedding in Seven Minutes by Pacing the Panic Room
If you don’t already read this blog, you’re missing out. BEAUTIFUL photography, beautiful family, and now…beautiful video. This guy is far too talented not to put in your reader.

Tissues on a Train by Outnumbered
Usually this guy is ridiculously funny, but today he got all sappy on me and then I cried. You should stop to read some of his other posts while you’re visiting, like this one. I guarantee you’ll be a reader in no time.

Babies and explosions.

2 Comments
Posted 25 Jun 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category Abigail, baby business, motherhood, please and thank you

So, it’s fireworks season. Abbers had her very first fireworks experience last night. It was small, didn’t go airborne, and wasn’t that loud. She did fine. However, we’re thinking about bringing her to the park next weekend to see the fireworks with us. Good or bad idea?  Parents of toddlers, did you bring your baby to fireworks? Was it a mistake or did they love them? I hope she would love them as much as I do. But, the kid broke into hysterics when the family yelled “SURPRISE!” at my mother-in-law yesterday for her birthday. (Happy birthday, Chris!) SO…I dunno if large explosions featuring colored swaths of light in the sky are the greatest idea.

Tell me how it went for you and your bebehs!

I even had it marked on mah calendar!

2 Comments
Posted 23 Jun 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category blog bidnass, please and thank you

Yep.

The blog reset happened on Sunday.

I’m all, “La, la, la…it’s Father’s Day!”

when I should have been

“La, la, la OMG TOP BABY BLOG RESET OMFG LOL ROFLMAO!!!!1!!!11!”

So yeah. Could you vote for me a couple hundred (thousand) times? Grassy ass.

Vote For Us @ TopBaby Blogs! The Best Baby Blog Directory

(click it. pretty please.)

Intelligent conversation.

1 Comment
Posted 23 Jun 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category marriage, The Hubs

A back and forth between the hubs and I on Sunday:

Me: Was I having the conversation with you about Back to the Future the other day?

Him: No.

Me: “The Future” was supposed to be in 2015 in that movie. So much for hovercars and skateboards, eh?

Him: (laughs) Yeah, I guess so. It’s stupid though. They should have hoverboards by now.

Me: You’d think.

Him: We used to think when the movie came out that they really did exist and they were just keeping them secret. I mean, why don’t they really have hoverboards? It can’t be that hard.

Me: Because they’d need to harness jet propulsion on a really small scale and that’s probably really hard.

(Sidenote: Am I not the biggest nerd in the world? Even typing out what I said makes me feel like I should tape a “Kick Me” sign to my own back.)

Him: They should get the world’s top scientists on this. Get them off the oil spill and put them on building hoverboards.

Me: They’d probably build a hoverboard faster than they can figure out how to stop the oil spill.

Him: True dat.

Life.

No Comments
Posted 22 Jun 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category blog bidnass

I know, it’s one of those lame “apologizing for not posting” posts. I’m just so busy and when I’m not busy working or cleaning or changing one of the 7 daily poopy diapers Abbers is giving us lately, I’m just sitting. And not doing anything. BECAUSE IT FEELS GOOD.

I really do want/need to be posting more. I have lots to tell you, oh dear internets. So hold tight. I’m going to make the hubs help me out so I can gets to blogging more.

In case you missed it: TwitterPaLooza

2 Comments
Posted 16 Jun 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category I am awesome, other people are awesome, paparazzi, RAD

Hey y’all! I’m back and have many stories to tell. In the meantime, enjoy the recap of Twitter posts I had while I was gone.  (A better post with thoughts lasting longer than 140 words is forthcoming. Old Bessie (aka our laptop) is totally on it’s last legs, so my work compy and my phone are my only posting options. SO not cool.)

Off to the airport in futuristic light rail fashion. On my way to Satan’s Pants AKA Phoenix. #satanspants  3:25 PM Jun 10th via twidroid

Security made me take my sweater off. First thought? Thank god I removed the tag so no one knows it’s a maternity sweater. #notpregnant 3:55 PM Jun 10th via twidroid

A beautiful day for flight. http://twitpic.com/1vmrbf 4:25 PM Jun 10th via twidroid

Airport dinner: Whopper Jr and Triscuits, enjoyed with the soothings sounds of crying children and loud douchbags on cellphones. Thursday, June 10, 2010 4:30:38 PM via twidroid

Well. This doesn’t look good. They seem to be working on the engine. Que dramatic thoughts of plane crashing. Thursday, June 10, 2010 4:35:15 PM via twidroid

Pretty sure I just saw the pilot walking around said engine while scratching his head. Yet, my flight begins boarding in 5 minutes. #awesome Thursday, June 10, 2010 4:44:51 PM via twidroid

Ah, the walk thru first class. “Here’s where you’re NOT sitting! Enjoy your lower class amenities!” Alright tweeps. See you in hell/Phoenix. Thursday, June 10, 2010 5:09:57 PM via twidroid

Signs of a good flight, including but not limited to, wine. http://twitpic.com/1voq0o Thursday, June 10, 2010 8:54:20 PM via twidroid

Hello Phoenix. Hello 106 degrees. Hello Satan’s Pants. http://twitpic.com/1voqik Thursday, June 10, 2010 8:55:41 PM via twidroid

Yep. It’s hot here. 81 degrees at 7am? WRONG. Friday, June 11, 2010 9:02:04 AM via twidroid

It’s hot out…and I’m about to lay out by a pool. Do I need a head check? Friday, June 11, 2010 11:36:20 AM via twidroid

Beer at 11:30 on a Friday. I like where this is going. Friday, June 11, 2010 1:38:57 PM via twidroid

Hey…here’s my #FF – see the list of people I follow? FOLLOW THEM. ALL OF THEM. #notjustthebeertalking Friday, June 11, 2010 1:45:07 PM via twidroid

Playing with sponge rollers. http://twitpic.com/1vx1gc Friday, June 11, 2010 3:56:39 PM via twidroid

At a place called Hula, about to eat some Ahi…enjoying EXCELLENT company. Friday, June 11, 2010 8:27:50 PM via twidroid

Prescott, here we come! http://twitpic.com/1w9nip Saturday, June 12, 2010 5:19:50 PM via twidroid

Two hot beetches driving in the desert. http://twitpic.com/1w9ytl Saturday, June 12, 2010 6:00:43 PM via twidroid

My bladder has hit critical mass. Ten miles to go. It’s gonna be a close one. Saturday, June 12, 2010 6:10:33 PM via twidroid

We’ve arrived. http://twitpic.com/1waq4q Saturday, June 12, 2010 7:34:21 PM via twidroid

CAKE! Now? BOOZE! http://twitpic.com/1wc336 Saturday, June 12, 2010 10:04:23 PM via twidroid

First bar has a live country band. I’m screwed. And not in a good way. Saturday, June 12, 2010 10:57:37 PM via twidroid

Real life cowboys. So so so awesome. Saturday, June 12, 2010 11:02:27 PM via twidroid

Makes everything better (meaning the country music). http://twitpic.com/1wctnd Saturday, June 12, 2010 11:18:58 PM via twidroid

That was a really big tequila shot. And I’m so so glad I’m married. This place is a meat market and my ring is like kryptonite. Sunday, June 13, 2010 12:12:06 AM via twidroid

Tequila shot + dancing my ass off to Stevie Ray Vaughan= making much of my family proud Sunday, June 13, 2010 12:48:55 AM via twidroid

Metal music. I’m home. Sunday, June 13, 2010 3:09:44 AM via twidroid

Good lord. Need ibuprofen. And gatorade. And also ibuprofen. Sunday, June 13, 2010 10:41:32 AM via twidroid

Old timey photos and my second bloody mary. I heart vacay. Sunday, June 13, 2010 3:01:04 PM via twidroid

Just saw Sex & the City 2. “Lawrence of my labia?” No. NO. Sunday, June 13, 2010 11:31:45 PM via twidroid

Last hours in Phenix will be spent shopping at Last Chance. And then airport & goodbye. :( Monday, June 14, 2010 11:55:39 AM via twidroid

Last hours will also be spent misspelling “Phoenix.” Monday, June 14, 2010 11:57:49 AM via twidroid

See these Michael Kors shoes? $30. THEY’RE MINE NOW. http://twitpic.com/1wshne Monday, June 14, 2010 12:28:11 PM via twidroid

See you later Phoenix! Time for 64 degrees & rain. Monday, June 14, 2010 2:30:06 PM via twidroid

Salma Hayek’s Snake-Induced Freak-Out

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Posted 10 Jun 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category RAD

I had to share this because…really? It’s too funny. If I didn’t think Salma Hayek probably swallowed about 30 valium to get over this, I’d think it was fake. I don’t think she’s ever acted as scared as she physically was in this clip.

Salma Hayek’s Snake-Induced Freak-Out – MamaPop.com.

In other news, I leave for the airport in just over an hour. Be sure to tune into Twitter over the weekend while I document my trip in random increments and at 140 characters at a time! Short Attention Span people – unite!

(Rememeber Short Attention Span theater? What was that from? Off to investigate.)

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