Archive for July, 2010

Did I mention I’m going to BlogHer?

Posted 29 Jul 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category blog bidnass, other people are awesome, RAD, retail therapy

(that title is a joke, because, well DER.)

Yeah. This is me…panicking.

In 6 days I’m getting in one of those magical soda cans that can fly at high speeds and arriving in New York City where I will meet some of the most awesome ladies and go to parties and also BE IN EFFING NEW YORK. Oh yeah, and maybe learn a thing or two as well.

I have WAY too much to do in the next week. And not enough time to do it in. I also need to include time to panic about flying, my luggage getting lost, nobody talking to me, getting mugged, seeing one of those jumbo rats the size of a dog, and also panic about panicking.

To add fuel to my anxiety filled fire, I ordered a dress for one of the parties, and it was a big fail. So, now I need to travel to the MOA (that’s Mall of America, to you folks outside the Twin Cities area) and try to find some dresses that can be worn both to BlogHer AND a couple weddings I have coming up. And find a glittery obnoxiousness for Sparklecorn.

Sigh. You guys, even though I’m freaking out, I am SO EXCITED. I cannot wait to meet my bloggy friends/idols/twatpeeps in person and share laughing and copious amounts of the drink.  CANNOT WAIT.

I hope one or a few of you won’t shy away from skipping a session and going shopping with me. Because SERIOUSLY LADIES. We’ll be in New York. We have to go shopping and drink martinis and also drink martinis while shopping.

Stay tuned, I’m working on a post about what you’ll be missing out on not being my roommate while at BlogHer. (You know, since I’m rooming with the hubs while I’m there.)

9 months.

Posted 27 Jul 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category Abigail, motherhood, paparazzi

Abs-ca-dabs,

So, you’re 3/4 of a year old. I cannot begin to describe how awesome and incredibly sad that is all at once. You’re full of movement now – you’re pretty much crawling, just pulled yourself to standing for the first time tonight, and also have your 5th and 6th teeth coming in. You’ve learned the cutest tricks, including open mouth kissing and feeding us your bottles and puffs. You’re also kind of repeating us, in your own way. (Which is hope stays at your minimal levels, since I recall yelling “JESUS CHRIST YOU DOUCHE WIPE.” at a car while we were driving home from your grandparents this evening.)

(He had it coming.)

(Do as I…uh…say…in theory. Not as I do. Or say.)

I love you more than words can say. I can’t even fathom that you’ll be a year old in a few months.

xoxo,
Momma.

Meat in a can.

Posted 27 Jul 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category blog bidnass, other people are awesome

Let me just start by saying, HOLY SPAM Batman. I’ve NEVER had as much spam commenting on my blog until recently. I hate how it fakes me out into thinking I have SO MANY people who want to comment and then notice it’s stuff like “You will discover ed hardy uk numerous types of clothing ed hardy shoes lines which can be created offered recently.” or something about the insanity workout review.

However, this spam comment made me pee my pants. I’m not going to approve it since the author is “dvd converter,” but here’s the content:

Why stupid people dont use google and expect others to search for them!

This is nothing new i just felt like i should complain again about it, my issue is with stupid people when if they put the same question in Google they would get a answer. It really does shock me to this day with the intelligence of some people. Just makes me want to remove my penis due to i could not stand my children growing up in a world of idiots.

JUST MAKES ME WANT TO REMOVE MY PENIS.

From now on. Whenever something is ridiculous, I’m going to have to say that it just makes me want to remove my penis.

Why are there SEVEN boxes of Kleenex?

Posted 20 Jul 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category motherhood, not so much, TheRapists

The title of this post is the very thought I had when I walked into a room I’m about to become very familiar with – the therapy room.

I had my first visit with a therapist yesterday.

Wait, I should pause for a moment to add this disclaimer. I’m sure some of you are thinking, DOODE. You’re just going to put that out there? For everyone to read? Even people you work with or like, barely know? And the answer is, YES. I almost didn’t get help because I was embarrassed to admit that I couldn’t help myself anymore, that I couldn’t fix my problems the same way I had been. I can only assume there are other people out there, not just people who’ve had babies, who have felt the same way. I’m here to admit that I’m not embarrassed to get help anymore.

Okay, so yeah. First therapy appointment yesterday. Probably THE WORST day to meet a therapist for the first time. I got about 5 hours of sleep the night before and had spent the 5 hours before going to bed and after waking up working on a project for work that was launching at the same time as my appointment. (Can you say STRESSED OUT?!)

One of the many lessons I learned yesterday is that, NO…I CANNOT WORK FROM HOME. I mean, I got stuff done, but Abby was all “MOMMA LOOOOOOOOOOOOK” but instead of saying that she was all “BAAAAAAAA MMAAAAA DADADADAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” until I’d pick her up. And then she’d try to dismantle my work laptop via teeth and fingernails that needed to be trimmed.

ANYWAY, I showed up to my appointment without the papers she wanted filled out because I couldn’t find a printer that worked in the 30 minutes I had before my appointment.  She didn’t mind, and escorted me into the therapy room.

It was small, felt like a den in someone’s home, and had SEVEN OPEN BOXES of Kleenex. I couldn’t believe it. I was like – WTF. Who needs this much Kleenex?

Within 20 minutes I had answered my own question. I cried so hard I couldn’t speak for almost 2 minutes.

I spilled everything I’d been bottling up for the last three or four months. Because I did feel better than I had a month ago, and I wasn’t as scared of my thoughts anymore, I admitted the horrible thoughts I’d had but was no longer having, even though I still had a fear she’d try to admit me to a hospital or have Abby taken away from me.  I told her about how I was starting to have episodes where I felt like I might explode, and just wanted to sit down where I was, cover my ears and scream. That sometimes knowing I’ll be in certain situations makes me want to curl into the fetal position and rock myself into oblivion. That I am constantly full of worry and totally unable to verbalize any of this to anyone for fear of how they’ll handle my thoughts.

We went through the dreaded depression checklist. By the end of my appointment, she was leaning towards my having anxiety issues moreso than depression. We’re meeting again soon to discuss my pregnancy and labor. She wasn’t also ruling out the possibility of PTSD after my labor experience.

When it was over, I walked outside and took a big deep breath. The sun was out for the first time that day. I felt like, twenty pounds lighter. I know everyone says “it’s like a weight is lifted off your shoulders” when you talk to someone for the first time, but it was. That was when I tweeted this:

I’m just so looking forward to not feeling this way anymore. I think I was ramping up to this for a long time, and my pregnancy was just the trigger to make it unmanageable. I don’t even care anymore though. I just want to be better, and I feel like I might be able to now.

Wanna know how big of a nerd I am?

Posted 15 Jul 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category other people are awesome, RAD

This is the trailer for a movie coming out in October called The Social Network.

I got chills while watching it.

It’s all about Drama! and the Internets! and Dorks! AND JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE! (!!!)

So, essentially, it’s Mrs. Jenna porn.

Read about it a little more if you should so desire.