Things lately in my brain have been…muddled, to say the least. My writer’s block has plateaued. I actually started this post over a week ago with just a title and an intent on making a bulleted list of shit I’ve done, and I couldn’t even do that.
Days like today, where I slept minimal hours last night due to Abby’s lack of sleep, I start to worry. About everything. And I can’t focus, which is to be expected since I haven’t slept. But then I get scared that I’m falling back into The Funk. My lack of motivation and jumping to the worst conclusion in situations screams depression and anxiety.
I’ve been shying away from Twitter, blogging, email and talking to my e-friends, and I don’t have a good reason why. I hate it. I want this blog to be so much and when I don’t post, I feel like I’m failing. And that makes me sad. It also makes me not want to post because what’s the point?
I feel like if I could have a weekend where I completed maybe ONE THING on my to-do list (either blog or life wise)…that it might be enough to kickstart my motivation to do ANYTHING.
ANYWAY, without further adieu, more bulleted lists about my life. Enjoy.
- As mentioned above, Abby slept HORRIBLY last night. After traveling this weekend, Sunday was perfection – no waking, slept late. Yesterday started going downhill after a trip to Target – clingy, wouldn’t sit and play, needed me AT ALL TIMES, and seeming super lethargic. Last night she spent most of the night crying and half-sleeping, and was SUPER warm…yet no fever. Cooler jammies and tylenol helped briefly…then a bottle…then more being awake. I’m hoping it’s teething or a little bug. I don’t have it in me to deal with her when she comes home from the in-laws. And I feel horrible saying that.
- Christmas tree went up last night. We went LED with our lights this year…some twinkling. Overall I like it, but the glow of the Christmas tree is like, white light instead of a warm glow. I give it a B right now.
- My Christmas shopping is nearing completion. I still have to get another gift for my mom and dad…and Santa has not yet completed his purchases for Abbers, but the hubs is done…and everyone else is half done! However, I don’t know about wrapping said gifts and putting them under the tree – Abby has figured out how to open gifts, finally. (Bad timing!)
- Other than her issues as of late – Abby has been just a complete joy. She loves getting kisses and is getting a little better at trying to walk. No serious walking yet, but a few steps here and there. I love her more and more every day.
- My bedding I mentioned back here FINALLY came last week, and I love it. In fact, I don’t plan on painting our bedroom anymore. I like the blue walls with the bedding. And I plan on buying turquoise curtains for our room. Hope you’re okay with that, hubs.
Alright, if you’ve stuck with this post this long, you’re a saint. I’m going to try really hard to get back into the swing of things. I don’t want to settle in to where I am right now. I don’t like it. So…stay with me, people. Work in progress.