Archive for the ‘I am a moron’ Category

Birthdays and butter.

Posted 13 Sep 2011 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category I am a moron, retail therapy

Today, I turned 31. It sounds gross. 30? I was okay with. 31? No. It just sounds like a shitty comedy movie. Like, anything starring Tom Green.

Anyway, yesterday I went shopping for new work clothes for fall and spent an ungodly amount of money. I was anticipating getting some money from the folks (thanks, by the way!) and then just spent like, twice that. Whoops. But it’s all cool. I found a kick-ass dress at Nordstrom Rack for $25, amongst other things. (Ann Taylor Loft? I should own shares in their company by now.)

Then today at lunch, heated by my apparently nuclear temperature mac and cheese from Panera – a pad of butter pretty much sprayed all over my lap. And my new $25 dress.

All I’ve been able to smell is butter. Since noon today. (It’s nearly 6pm.)

Birthday and Butter – 1, Jenna – 0.

This is just a test.

Posted 09 May 2011 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category Abigail, baby business, I am a moron

This weekend, the hubs, Abbers and myself will be taking a little trip “up nort” to a family member’s wedding. We’ll be staying in a hotel for the first time with our little firecracker.  I’m nervous, but it’s only one night, and if she hates the hotel’s crib she can always crash with us in our bed. Assuming we got a king. And a ice bucket full of sleeping pills. (FOR ME, jerks. I wouldn’t give any to her. She wouldn’t need it if I can’t hear her through the Ambien haze.)

Anyway, any fear I originally had for this weekend is being grossly overshadowed by what will be happening in roughly 2 weeks. We’re taking her highness (and ourselves) on a plane to the land of Rice o Roni.

I keep trying to think about all the crap we need to get/buy/do/plan for to make this flight land safely and not with me on a stretcher in a 4 alarm panic attack. Luckily we’ll be staying with my Uncle & his family (including 4 year old twin boys and an older brother she’s never met), so many items we’d need they’ll be able to supply. But we’re planning on renting a car. Do we just rent a car seat? Bring ours with? If we do, do we check it in? Or check it at the gate? Do we bother bringing juice boxes for her only to be accosted at security for bringing liquids? Do I shave my head now to avoid pulling my hair out when she cries incessantly on the flight? WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DOOOOO?!?!

great, now I made her cry.

Yes, this is a cry for help. I’m looking for any and all advice about traveling with a toddler. Please and thank you.

I’m Alive!

Posted 22 Feb 2011 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category I am a moron

Sunday I drove from Chicago to Minneapolis in the middle of an epic snowstorm. It was stupid, but we made it alive. I felt as though I should share that with you in case I start having random e-panic attacks and start writing long stories about that one time I almost died on Interstate 94. (I shouldn’t really say “one time” since this was the second time I almost died on I-94. You’d think I’d learn my lesson by now.)

Yesterday, the hubs and I shoveled away the 12+ inches of snow so we could take Abbers to the doctor, since she’s still really sick. We got some antibiotics, and she’s already on the road to recovery this morning.

Anyway, I have a big post on tap this week. A challenge, if you will. Keep your eyes peeled.

And….we’re back.

Posted 29 Dec 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category blog bidnass, I am a moron, not so much

After spending the last 24 hours trying to determine why in God’s name I couldn’t upload images to my blog anymore (or pretty much do anything aside from post), GoDaddy came through and helped me out. I was ready to jump ship, but they made things right again.  Still don’t know why my database lost write privileges (I still blame a server move on their part), but all is well in the world once again.

Did you know Puffs makes facial tissue with both lotion AND Vicks? Yeah. They do. (This should also clue you into the fact that I’m still SICKER THAN A DOG.) Anyway, here’s a tip. Don’t touch or rub your eyes after you blow your nose, because essentially you’re putting VapoRub IN YOUR GODDAMN EYES. I blame a head full of snot for prohibiting me from realizing it before it was too late.

ANYWHO – be on the lookout for some awesome pictures from Christmas to be posted later tonight!

I’m not afraid to post an unflattering photo of myself.

Posted 01 Jul 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category I am a moron, paparazzi

going for the jugular

Yep, you can see up my nostrils and I’ve developed another chin…

…but OMG…

SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM THE GOD DAMNED HAND PUPPET!

Oh wait, that’s my own hand.

Phew.