Archive for the ‘other people are morons’ Category

The day I cursed investment companies.

Posted 06 Aug 2013 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category house stuffs, other people are morons, The Hubs, uncategorized

I wanted to tell the story of our “offer” that fell through, mostly because when I was looking to it myself on the old interwebs, I couldn’t find anything about the company that wanted to buy our house…so…here it is.

A few weeks ago, I got a phone call from our realtor, letting us know that she got an email with an offer for our house. Odd for a few reasons…one was that the offer was from a corporation, and another being they’d never even seen our house. They were based out of Illinois, and offered us about $15K less than our asking price. CASH. It even came with a proof of funding letter. Not horrible, but too low for us to accept. Our realtor told us the company’s name, IH2 Property Illinois, so of course I immediately started Googling. I found that they’re owned by Blackstone Group, one of the largest investment companies out there, and are purchasing mass quantities of single family homes across the country. They invest a little money, and then rent the homes out. Immediately the hubs was against even entertaining their offer. While we couldn’t find any information about people who had sold their homes to them, we did find a bunch of stuff on Yelp and other sites – mostly people who thought they were a shitty group of landlords. While I wasn’t exactly happy with selling my house that I love to a company that was seemingly a bunch of jerks…I also wanted to sell my house. (Duh.) And without much else coming in for serious interest in our home, I talked the hubs into a counter offer.

We countered $13K more than their offer, they countered back at the halfway point…which was exactly what we needed to break even on our home. We were STOKED. It was finally happening! We signed their offer with a counter-proposal addendum attached with the newly agreed upon purchase amount, and sent it to them. The next day, they scheduled an inspection. The inspector came and went, and it came to my attention that IH2 had never signed our counter-proposal, nor had they sent any earnest money. That started to worry me, but our realtor assured us that everything was fine, and would let us know when she heard anything. On that Friday, we had been told that the Purchase Agreement papers and the inspection report had been delivered to the buyers and we would hear something on Monday.

Meanwhile, the hubs and I are quietly and excitedly talking about our moving plans, storage units, when to start looking for our home. We both tried not to get excited – we knew this wasn’t finished yet.

Monday rolls around, and finally, by 2pm our realtor calls. Her first words are “Bad news.” I almost fainted. Like, this COULD NOT be happening. Instead of everything being fine, they countered again. This time, at $30K LESS than our agreed upon purchase amount. THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS LESS. May I remind you that our agreed upon amount would leave us with nothing. Breaking even…but walking away with NOTHING. At first I panicked and thought that there was something MAJORLY wrong with our house. What could need $30K in repairs?!

Our realtor emailed their local agent (along with a counter from us for $10K than our agreed upon amount, because EFF YOU JERKS) who responded that they could not work with our counter offer, and that it was nothing that was found during the inspection, but they determined they would need to invest that much in the home in order for the deal to work with them. Okay…first? GREAT! Put $30K of work into my house! Guess what? I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO PAY FOR IT. Second? I hate you. He also mentioned in the email that if we ever want to “work with their offer” to  contact them. Sure…when I have a dump truck of money for closing, I’ll give you guys a holler.

So…like I said in my previous post…dead in the water.

We’re pulling our house from the MLS on Thursday while we’re on vacation, and so that we can enjoy the rest of the summer without having to worry about house showings and stress and whatnot. We’ll probably decide over the next week if we put it back up again in September or wait until Spring.

I’m so over all of this. I’m seriously going to find a statue of St. Joseph and bury that shit in my front yard. HOUSE BE GONE.

And then I jinxed it.

Posted 29 Jul 2013 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category house stuffs, not so much, other people are morons

Was that really all it took? Me, vague-posting about the possible offer?

Because it fell through.

I have more to say about this whole situation, but I’m going to hold off until I don’t feel like smothering baby bunnies.

 

effthis

The Week in Randoms

Posted 18 May 2012 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category Abigail, I am awesome, other people are morons, paparazzi, toddler business

Monday:

 

Wednesday:


So I pulled up to an ATM to get some cash money millionaires for a soda or something and there was a card & receipt still in the machine, which was beeping wildly at their owner, who clearly didn’t give a shit about their dollars and cents. So being the patron saint that I am, I pulled both out, went about my ATM business and then brought the card & receipt upstairs to the bank from which they were issued. While I was walking, I glanced at the receipt at the “available balance” on the account.

$749,960.10

I literally had to count the decimal places to make sure I was seeing it right. My first thought was OMG WE’RE BUYING A NEW HOUSE, but then I remembered most home sellers don’t take check cards, so I bailed on that. Then I remembered my buddy karma, and continued onto the bank, where the teller choked on his gum when I pointed it out to him. I left to buy my soda, and bought a lotto ticket as well, hoping for instant karma. I’m just checking my numbers now…annndddd I won $1. YOU STILL OWE ME, KARMA.

Thursday:

Friday:

Man up, you whiny suburbians.

Posted 29 Feb 2012 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category not so much, other people are morons, uncategorized

(Where I complain about wussy school districts.)

So, as I mentioned yesterday, we got some weather overnight. First it rained, then there was sleet, then it snowed, but warmed up so all the ice melted. Thus, we were left with a big slushy mess.

Whatevs. It was passable. The roads were kinda lame, but I made it downtown like the rest of the world, and it only took me an extra 10 minutes from where I live in South Minneapolis.

However, I get to Abby’s daycare, only to find out it’s not opening until 9am. There are literally like, 50 parents and kids just standing around outside the daycare, along with some of it’s employees. Apparently, my daycare follows the school closing lead of a suburb of Minneapolis. Edina. (They have a daycare center in Edina as well as our location in DT Mpls.)

Those of you who aren’t from the area won’t be familiar with Edina. It’s the hoity-toity neighbor of Minneapolis. The fact that they decided to delay schools is almost ridiculous. Most of those fools drive Land Rovers anyway, so I doubt any of them had any trouble getting their kids to school.

I’ve made a graphical display of the situation:

Edina.

Minneapolis.

Anyway, after I arrived at Abby’s daycare, a woman exited the building with her offspring and crabbily told me that Abby’s daycare wasn’t opening until 9am because of the weather. Because Edina schools had chosen to delay.

They delayed schools an hour. Just enough to eff me over and make me super late for work, AND miss the early bird on a parking ramp. (We’re talking a $4 savings here people.) Anyway – EVERYONE WAS THERE. Teachers, room aides, kids, parents – EVERYONE. THERE. And a big sign on the door saying they weren’t opening until 9am. It was 8:47.  It was a total joke. And it made me crabby.

The end.

Buying beauty.

Posted 14 Oct 2011 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category other people are morons, RAD, retail therapy

No, this isn’t a post where I describe how I’m so excited to get my nose done or buy m’self some of those new fangled fake plastic boobies.

Today at Design Mom, she posted a link and image from Ballerina Project.

It’s no secret that I wish I was a ballerina, even at the ripe old age of 31. I still believe ballerinas are the full embodiment of beauty and grace.

I moseyed over to the Ballerina Project website and looked at every single photo in the collection.

And then I bought one.

“Dancing in the Rain”

I have no idea where I will put this in my house, but every time I look at it, it brings a smile to my face. I figure if a photograph or piece of art invokes any sort of emotion, it must be good.

Go ahead and check out the Ballerina Project yourself. Get lost in the images.