In case you didn’t have enough social media crack…

Posted 20 May 2011 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category I am awesome, RAD

You can follow me on Pinterest!

Let me know if you need an invite to join because OMGIMTOTALLYADDICTEDCRACKSAMMICHNOM.

 

Don’t be THAT guy.

Posted 18 May 2011 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category I am awesome, other people are morons, paparazzi

Last night, the hubs, some friends and myself went to see The Cars.

So much awesome.

The show was awesome for multiple reasons:

1) No opening bands
2) 8:20 start time
3) Dude. THE CARS.

I sang along to “You’re All I’ve Got Tonight,” “You Might Think” and “Best Friends Girl” etc and had a BLAST.

HOWEVER. I couldn’t stop laughing at how all the, ehem…older people (mostly men) seemed to be wearing the same outfit. (For men, tee shirts tucked into belted boot cut jeans and boots of some kind. Women wore cropped jeans and wedge sandals to accentuate their bottle-blond hair.) Most of the crowd was well behaved, considering the age range. Although there WAS the perfect specimen of one of my least favorite demographic.

The self-entitled baby-boomer. This guy was such a jerk that I had to take a picture of him.

The offender and his accomplice.

The first issue I had with this loudmouth was that he was like, 7 feet tall.  So was his buddy. Which meant I couldn’t see ANYTHING. There was also a guy of equal height but more…eh, width which was making the situation dire, but I figured the crowd would shift before the show started so it was fine. I let it go.

A girl and her boyfriend show up next to us and she’s MAYBE 5’2″. Which means she’s screwed if she can’t get in front of these guys. She and I talk about how those of us who are vertically challenged should be allowed to stand closer, or those over 6’4″ should probably move to the back. She decides she’s going to politely ask this guy if she and her man can stand in front of him (since this will cause no sight line issues for him AT ALL.) His response?

“Hell no! This is way too important.”

Okay. I was overlooking all his outward jerk qualities until he unleashed his inner jerk. Then it was on like Donkey Kong.

First, I don’t know how well my phone photo shows it, but this guy seems to think he’s Guy Fieri. Dunno who I’m talking about?

Excellent representation, along with "loser" symbol.

He’s a “chef” that wears his sunglasses on the back of his head like a jerk. This guy was doing that. Inside. For the whole show. He also was yelling something about his golf game to his buddy. I wanted to punch him in the sunglasses.

SO – the show starts and I laugh at his horrible dancing, high-fiving and mock turtleneck. Maybe a jerk move on my part since, what did he do to me?

Then he does this:

OH HELL NO. He put his camera up like this FOR AN ENTIRE SONG. He was recording it.

I don’t know that there’s a more DOUCHEY thing you can do at a concert than blocking like, 8 people’s view because you need to record a whole song ON VIDEO. Who are you going to show that to? Your girlfriend (who’s probably only dating you for the money)? The kids you lost in the divorce? YOUR MOM? None of them are interested in what you deem to be way too important.

So, in typical rowdy (not drunk at all) Jenna form, I yelled at him to knock it off, including (but not limited to) the following outbursts:

“DOWN IN FRONT!”
“MOVE YOUR DAMN CAMERA!”
“I HOPE MY YELLING MAKES IT INTO THE AUDIO!”
“GRANDPA! NO ONE CAN FUCKING SEE!”

And so on. And seriously, I wasn’t drunk. I just like to yell. A lot. Ask anyone who’s been to a baseball game with me. I make lots of friends.

In the end, the guy was a gross sweaty mess and ended his bro-gasm with his buddies with a few more high fives. I held back the sunglasses punch and the evening ended without incident. And as rant-y and rave-y as this post has been, it really didn’t ruin my evening. Just makes for good story telling.

Disclaimer: Sorry if your husband/boyfriend/brother/dad/best friend/random person you adore does any of the highlighted offenses in this blog post. But really? If you’re a good person, you’ll tell them to knock it off with the sunglasses and mock turtlenecks and self-important attitude. Everyone likes to have a good time. Don’t be the jerk who ruins it for someone else.

(Although it could be argued that my yelling ruined it for someone else. DOMINO EFFECT, PEOPLE. I can’t help it if someone else sets off the chain reaction.)

Alpha Test: Complete.

Posted 17 May 2011 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category baby business, motherhood, other people are awesome

Welp – we survived the weekend away from home (read: AT A HOTEL) with Abby. She really handled the everything well. Even if the hotel provided a mini-pack-n-play as a “crib.” (Don’t try and call this a crib, people. If Abby had been 2 inches taller she would have been TOO LONG for this thing. RIDIC.) I pulled a mom-fail and left one of her blankies at the hotel (thank god her blankies come in packs of four) when we left, but other than that…no real issues!

SO, today I booked the rental car for our trip to San Francisco in NINE DAYS. I’m simultaneously getting more relaxed about it and yet continuing to freak out.

Example: I’ve made the decision (thanks to my Uncle Greg’s advice and others) that we will bring Abby’s carseat with us. And we’ll gate check it. I think.

See? See what I did there? I know we’re bringing the car seat but I’m still TOTALLY STRESSING about whether to check it with our bags or at the gate. Regardless, we’re going to be lugging our bags, carry-on(s), a toddler and a car seat through the airport.

Abby woke up at 4:30 this morning and I stayed awake after that thinking about it. About what to do with a car seat. Nine days before we leave. I’M LOSING SLEEP OVER CAR SEATS.

Tonight I’m being a baby-boomer-in-training and going to see The Cars at First Avenue. Where I will more than likely be hearing Ric Ocasek sing “You’re All I’ve Got Tonight” while contemplating whether my back can handle toting a 26lb baby down Haight Street in an Ergo.

Steppin’ Out Saturday!

Posted 15 May 2011 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category Abigail, paparazzi, posting on-the-go

Including half-assed phone pictures!

We went to a family wedding along the North Shore (of Lake Superior for you non-Minnesotans), and brought a camera with a dead battery. So, enjoy bathroom self-portraits and blurry dance floor pics!

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Someday I’ll get a real photo of the three of us all dressed up. A girl can dream, right?

This is just a test.

Posted 09 May 2011 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category Abigail, baby business, I am a moron

This weekend, the hubs, Abbers and myself will be taking a little trip “up nort” to a family member’s wedding. We’ll be staying in a hotel for the first time with our little firecracker.  I’m nervous, but it’s only one night, and if she hates the hotel’s crib she can always crash with us in our bed. Assuming we got a king. And a ice bucket full of sleeping pills. (FOR ME, jerks. I wouldn’t give any to her. She wouldn’t need it if I can’t hear her through the Ambien haze.)

Anyway, any fear I originally had for this weekend is being grossly overshadowed by what will be happening in roughly 2 weeks. We’re taking her highness (and ourselves) on a plane to the land of Rice o Roni.

I keep trying to think about all the crap we need to get/buy/do/plan for to make this flight land safely and not with me on a stretcher in a 4 alarm panic attack. Luckily we’ll be staying with my Uncle & his family (including 4 year old twin boys and an older brother she’s never met), so many items we’d need they’ll be able to supply. But we’re planning on renting a car. Do we just rent a car seat? Bring ours with? If we do, do we check it in? Or check it at the gate? Do we bother bringing juice boxes for her only to be accosted at security for bringing liquids? Do I shave my head now to avoid pulling my hair out when she cries incessantly on the flight? WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DOOOOO?!?!

great, now I made her cry.

Yes, this is a cry for help. I’m looking for any and all advice about traveling with a toddler. Please and thank you.