Obligitory BlogHer Post.

Posted 26 Jul 2012 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category blog bidnass, I am awesome, other people are awesome, paparazzi, RAD, uncategorized

HEY!!! I’M GOING TO BLOGHER! AGAIN! FOR THE THIRD YEAR IN A ROW!

If you’re totally not interested in any of this nonsense, feel free to skip this post.

If you’re going?! OMGLOLI’LLSEEYOUTHERE!!!one!!1!

I thought I’d do a little introduction post, so you know how to spot me or what conversation to strike up while we’re waiting in line for the bathroom at Sparklecorn.

First of all, this is me:

Yes, I own like, 4 different pairs of glasses. I’m a glasses horder. However, I might put on my big girl underoos and wear my contacts. IMMA MIX SHIZ UP. So, it’s essentially a grab bag.

Here’s things I would love to discuss with you!

Here’s what I don’t want to talk about.

  • Politics.
  • Religion.
  • Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Scooby-Doo, Ni-Hao Kai-lan, etc. I get enough of that at home.
  • Blog Stats/Monetizing/Couponing (No offense.)
  • How I’m out of drink tickets.
  • That checking the weather is bad for my health.
  • What time my flight leaves.

But seriously, I am so stoked to land in New York on Wednesday evening, to spend sometime with some of my blogging besties (like, 20 of them) and how friendships made on the internets are just as real and true as any other.

What’s most hilarious is that as each year passes that I attend BlogHer, I spend less and less time packing. I mean, I’m actually going shopping for stuff to wear on Monday and am leaving on Wednesday. I think it’s safe to say I’m not worried about this shit anymore. I’m some sort of professional…something.

*This post is probably all over the place since I’m getting ready to leave for a cabin tomorrow and toddlers and SEINFELD IS ON and where the eff is the pizza man and laundry and dirty house. All at once. But again. Not worried.

My kingdom for a free weekend at home.

Posted 18 Jul 2012 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category house stuffs, marriage, motherhood, toddler business

This week marks the beginning of a six week period of time where I will not rest my head at home on any Friday or Saturday nights. Six weekends of being away from home. Six weeks of unpacking and repacking suitcases and duffel bags, restocking travel shampoos and on certain weekends, kissing Abby goodbye for a few days.

Don’t get me wrong – not one of the weekends I’d skip. They’re all full of family, friends, weddings, anniversaries, birthdays and MOTHER EFFING BLOGHER IN NYC (I’ll try to save that for another post, because the internet isn’t annoyed enough with all that already). It’s just insane to me, that yet again, the hubs and I can say “We’re not making any plans this summer! Let’s relax!” in April and then suddenly every plan was made within the next six weeks. OH THE IRONY.

In my mind, this is all the ultimate test of my anxiety and whether or not I have it under control. I mean, for most people sans crazy problems, this sort of social schedule would throw half of them over the edge. Me? I’m already losing sleep. NOT GETTING PANICKY, LET’S NOT PANIC…just not sleeping well. Which sucks. And then tends to make me more anxious. And then I go to BlogHer and my anxiety almost kills me to the point where I almost vomit and shit myself at a table of 20 bloggers ON MY FIRST NIGHT THERE…<wraspy fast breathing> OH WAIT. That was last year.

I forgot I’m not talking about #blogher12. And I also forgot this isn’t Twitter. (Which, PS. If you don’t follow me on the Twitters yet, you totes should. I’m there way more often than I am here.)

And since it’s been over 2 weeks since I posted last, here’s what I’ve been up to:

  • Painting the exterior of our house & garage. (NOT FUN) (buy our house)
  • Getting a new garage door hung (buy our house)
  • Hauling rocks out of our backyard where a kennel once stood. (buy our house)
  • And general toddler business, like trying to potty-train and re-sleep train Abbers. (buy our house)

Did you see what I did there? It’s called “Shitty subliminal blogger messaging.” Don’t you suddenly feel like buying my house? I thought so. LUCKY YOU – we’re planning on putting it on the market early this fall! Hence the painting and rock hauling and caring about garage doors. Mama needs more space and if we’re planning on adding another germ-magnet to the family (NO I’M NOT PREGNANT, MOM) we need more usable space. And a better school district. And a two car garage. And three million dollhairs. And a McDonald’s Coke machine in my kitchen. You know, typical wishlist items for the possible “forever home.”

So that’s me in a nutshell. I’m going to try to get a few more posts in here after each weekend of madness so you can follow along with all the fun. But we all know what a half-assed blogger I am. I make and break promises like Justin Bieber influences lesbian style around the world.

image courtesy of wwtdd.com

I saw Magic Mike. And I posted about it at BlogHer.

Posted 02 Jul 2012 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category blog bidnass, RAD

I may have watched “Magic Mike”. And liked it.

My little pony.

Posted 26 Jun 2012 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category I am awesome, RAD

I no longer have a need for anti-anxiety medication.

I’m going to get an emotional support pony.

This is going to essentially kill two birds with one hoof. I want to get off my anxiety meds, and who in their right mind doesn’t want a miniature horse? THAT CAN GO ON PLANES WITH YOU. BlogHer anxiety?! DELETEDDDDDD.

I don’t know why I didn’t think of this sooner.

Get that muthereffing horse on that mothereffing plane.

Seriously. Have you heard of emotional support animals? I mean, I get it. Puppies and other such cuddly animals have a calming effect on people. Our cat Fiona pretty much is the bees knees when it comes to that.  Unfortunately she’s not a certified ESSA (Emotional Support Service Animal). Even though it seems SOME PEOPLE actually have the nerve to get letters from their doctors saying their every day domesticated animal is also an ESSA! THE NERVE, D-List actresses!

I'm talking about YOU Aubrey O'Day. No one abuses their emotional support animals with boas and pink hair.

I’m a little concerned that I might not have to dough to get one, BUT I WILL. I mean, this needs to happen. Right? No other logical answer. FIONA COULD EVEN RIDE IT. Maybe it could be her ESH (Emotional Support Horse) too! AND Abby’s! I’m saving lives here, people.

LOOK. THIS MINI HORSE IS WEARING SHOES.

Not abuse. LOVE.

*DISCLAIMER: I’m not getting one. I mean, mostly the issue is that I know I can’t afford one. Not so much the care and housing for it.  And also I feel like bringing one to the bars while at BlogHer might be frowned upon.

On the Road.

Posted 08 Jun 2012 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category uncategorized

on the road. part 1

on the road. part 2

on the road. part 3