…courtesy of my Aunt Laurie.

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, “Will you marry me?”

The girl said, “NO!”

And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, antiquing, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, traveled often, had many lovers, didn’t save money, and had all the hot water to herself. She went to the theater, never watched sports, never wore friggin’ lacy lingerie that went up her butt, had high self-esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants and was pleasant all the time.

The End