The husband’s siblings are in town as of yesterday, and so we brought our wedding album to his parents house to share since they don’t live on the mainland and hadn’t seen them yet.

We were leafing through, and in one of the “collage of faces” pages, there was my Aunt Julie. It made me stop breathing. I didn’t remember her being in the album.

We looked at the final edits book as well, and there were a few pictures of her there too.

I was just fine at their house, but as soon as I got in the car to drive home, I just started to bawl. Out of nowhere. I wasn’t holding it in or anything. I think once my subconscious realized that I was alone – everything came out all at once.

I haven’t cried like that since the weeks following her death. I kept thinking about Thanksgiving for my family (I won’t be home), and then Christmas, all without her. It still doesn’t seem like she’s really gone.

I miss her.