Just to get it out of the way – my insides are much better, thank you for asking. I’ve managed 3 meals without any, eh…distress, so that’s awesome. And I came into work this morning! Well, maybe more like this afternoon since I got all purdied up and came to work only to realize my laptop was still at home. (This SO isn’t the first time I’ve done this.) So I had to walk back to my car and go home and get it. BUT I WAS AT WORK TODAY, DAMMIT! And it felt REALLY good to be there. Mostly to be out of the house.
SO. Where do I begin this story? Hmmm. Hokay. So, since the dawn of Abbers we had ONE way of getting her to sleep, and that was in our arms. Sitting on the couch, walking her in circles around the dining room table, rocking her in her room, you name it – it happened in our arms. This wasn’t too big of a deal. When she got to be about 9 months, I asked her doctor about it. Her response? “She won’t need to fall asleep in your arms when she’s going off to college, so I wouldn’t worry about it.” She also referred me to a few books, including Ferber and others. So, we let it slide some more. If it ain’t broke, why fix it? (See also: I’m scurred of sleep training.)
Fast forward to a few months ago, suddenly Abbers has her nighttime bottle (shut up about her having a bottle, we’ll deal with that eventually) and instead of passing out in our arms, she’s a little ball of energy. And BOOK! READ ME THIS BOOK! I DON’T WANT TO BE HELD! And I’ll scream if you suggest sleeping! This was usually lasting us until 10, even 11pm sometimes. We resorted to laying her in our bed while one of us lays with her in the dark. (Probably a bad idea.) She’ll pull out every trick in the book, laughing at nothing, pulling her socks off, testing gravity, but eventually will quiet down and fall asleep (pseudo on her own). AND NOW, she will wake up in the middle of the night, will not fall asleep or allow you to put her back down in her crib, so she ends up back in our bed because WE NEED SLEEP SOMETIMES TOO, little girl.
We’ve been battling this for a while. And with the holidays, vacations, random nights out – it’s never been a good time to attempt sleep training.
Until this weekend.
I’ve been asking interweb friends, twitpeeps – you name it, I feel like I’ve gotten advice and encouragement from every last one of you. For some reason, it wasn’t until I read this blog post by Melissa at Dear Baby that I felt like I might actually be able to do it.
Abby is not going to do well. She will cry until she gags and maybe even barfs. She does that a lot if she gets hysterical. I’m preparing myself for that. I’m also preparing for having my own little meltdown since I’ll be extra hormonal by this weekend, likely crying at Disney World commercials I’ve seen a fafillion times.
Abby WILL do this though. I know she knows how to fall asleep on her own, I watch it nearly every night in our bed. She’s a smart girl. And she knows we are here. So, please, if you have any extra good juju to pass our way, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD pass it our way. It’s going to be a long weekend.
I’ll report as I can after Friday night, aka DOOMSDAY FOR ABBERS.
Hmmm…. considering I don’t have a baby, I can only tell you what works well for me. I like a good story before bed, and I sleep well with a snoring dog at my feet.
You can do this — it’s a battle of wits and she’s one and you’re 30. You have more wits.
You can do it woman. You already have accepted how it’s going to suck (hard)… Now you only have to stick to your guns. You give in, and you3e only setting yourself back farther.
Also? My pedi was the opposite. At 6 months she said no more room sharing (s was never in our bed, just the same room), and it worked great for us. Sienna ASKS to go to bed after a bath.
(Also? ::in a tiny voice:: maybe an earlier bedtime. Like, a set bedtime. Helped us a lot.)
Good luck!!!
I feel your pain, really I do. Up until last month the only way we could get Z to sleep was to lay on the floor next to him every night, AND if he woke up in the middle of the night, as opposed to him joining us in bed, one of us would lay on the floor, again, this led to many sore and achy back mornings. Over Christmas we decided to get brave, first we would sit in his doorway and assure him we were right there, then we slowly migrated to the hall, then I closed his door and turned the hall light on, took him in his room and showed him the light under the door meant mommy and daddy were “still here”. It took several stressful, screaming nights, of literally being right on the other side of his door assuring him we were right there, but now, we read books, walk out, close the door, assure him ONCE that we’re there, and he’s asleep, all.night. And if he wakes up, he goes right back down in his bed the same way. It’s fabulous. So, the moral is, it WILL be ridiculously hard, but stick with it, keep your eye on the prize, because the prize is FABULOUS.
Best wishes. We had some sleep training issues with both of our kids. Some disruptions to “normal” routines don’t help — like introducing a new kids to the mix, moving out of state etc. Anyway, both kids are starting to sleep through the night. The younger now sleeps like a baby (I can use that phrase again without wincing). It took about 18 months for both of our kids before they slept through the night. I think the biggest thing we did during the sleep training was leaving them in the crib. When they cried/screamed we come into the room, reassure them that they’re ok, rub their back for a few seconds then leave. We would not return for at least 10 minutes. Then extend to 15, 20, etc. A couple of rough nights, but then I think they gave up. So on the upside, we all get to sleep. The downside, we may have created some quitters as we broke their spirits.
Okay, so admittedly we have :knock on wood: no sleep issues. But I want to offer some encouragement to you and her. She needs the sleep and needs to learn to self soothe. She can do this and you will be so much happier once she does. There is something so nice about knowing that at 7:15 in my house, it will be quiet every single night. That my kid will be sleeping soundly and I have mama time. If you need support, remember that kids are adaptable. She will adjust! You may have a couple of hard night but get some wine and settle in! Good Luck!
Hope it is going well! It gets easier <3