I need to win the lotto, as I have NO attention span or desire to be at work, EVER. If I could just not ever work again, I’d be golden.
Thus, I’m going to go ahead and win the lotto.
Pregnancy brain is a total bitch. Like, seriously. I lost the drive to complete this post at the word desire.
A Be Band (or Bella Band).
Seriously, I have like, 3 pairs of pants that, pre-knockedupedness (I like making up words), I might have been able to continue wearing thanks to this contraption.
However, now that I am a bloat machine, this is a GODSEND. I was able to eat McDonald’s today and sit with my pants unbuttoned with my coworkers being none the wiser.
I bought two today at Target, one in black and one in white.
I love it. LOVE.
Seabands, you’ve only been working half the time, so I am now offering marriage to the Be Band. Sorry. Step up your game and it might be back to you.
Lack of bloat photo coming soon…
How far along? 8
weeks
Total weight gain/loss: – 2. Eating is not working so well lately.
Maternity clothes? Still only wearing lounge pants. The mat shirt looked ridiculous on me.
Stretch marks? No.
Sleep: Getting lame. I wake up a lot, and last week I officially began getting up to pee in the middle of the night.
Best moment this week: Seeing the little smudge on the screen! (smudge is the new nickname, thanks to my auntie Mitzi)
Movement: Nope.
Food cravings:
None, really. I’ve been feeling pretty sick lately, so nothing sounds good.
Gender: I’m still wishing girl but thinking boy.
Labor Signs:
Nada.
Belly Button in or out?
Innie.
What I miss: I still miss feeling normal. This week has been rough.
What I am looking forward to: Hospital tour on Saturday.
Weekly Wisdom:
None, really. I wish I had some regarding a miracle cure for feeling shitty.
Milestones:
Seeing and hearing the heartbeat!
Well, I had pretty much 2.5 days of no computer while I was home visiting my grandma and family…so that is why I’ve had a lack of updates.
Grandma is not doing well, but she’s still talking and bossing people like she is. I kept it together while I was in her hospital room, but promptly lost it once I was clear. There were so many people in the room that I couldn’t just spend time with her and tell her how much I love her. I’m planning on writing her a letter in the next couple of days just so I can fully express everything to her before she’s gone.
I did tear up a bit when we were saying goodbye – the hubs leaned in to give her a kiss and she just said – “YOU TAKE CARE OF HER! I MEAN IT!” in her usual bossy voice, but she really did mean it. And that’s what got me started with the tears.
Anyway, it was my first real experience of being out with people when everyone knew I was pregnant. I have learned that I don’t like being the center of attention. Every time people would talk about “the baby” it would just make me incredibly uncomfortable. I’m not quite sure why…I think it really is because it is still early. Everyone is so excited and happy and feeling like the baby is going to change the luck in our family…and I keep thinking – I still have a month before I can let myself really be happy. That sucks.
I also had my first real case of the crabbies. I was so effing crabby Saturday night (I think it was lack of sleep and all the baby talk at dinner) that I nearly killed someone. Also, being sober around a bunch of drunk family members may have had an impact. Regardless, I was so farking tired by the time we got home I was nearly in tears. And I slept for a long, long time.
I bought two baby blankets yesterday on Etsy.
TWO.
Good god. This is going to be a long and expensive 9 months. 
Here they are – each link to the store I bought them from.
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