Lady Gaga – you’re trying too hard. Seriously. We know you’re “different.”
Archive for the ‘other people are morons’ Category
Get your mumps out of my face.
Posted 31 Aug 2009 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category baby business, other people are morons
Category baby business, other people are morons
Last night, while chatting with the hubs and sister-in-law, and then while perusing the 2010 Ikea catalog (many earmarks were made, let me tell you) – I half-watched the Dateline special called “A Dose of Controversy” about vaccinations, autism, and the he-said she-said war of who’s right.
A statement given by the American Academy of Pediatrics to Dateline pretty much sums up why I WILL be vaccinating my child. Specifically:
While it is likely that there are many environmental factors that influence the development of autism, vaccines are not the cause of autism. We know this because many careful and repeated studies show no link between vaccines and autism. Specifically, numerous studies have refuted Andrew Wakefield’s theory that MMR vaccine is linked to bowel disorders and autism. Every aspect of Dr. Wakefield’s theory has been disproven.
Don’t get me wrong, I am concerned about Autism and the possibility of my child developing it. However, it’s sounding more and more like a genetic defect (which one study says possibly develops sometime in the 2nd trimester) and at this point, may be unavoidable. In the meantime, since almost all studies show that there is NO LINK between childhood vaccines and Autism, I will have my kids vaccinated. It’s more important now than ever to have your kids vaccinated since so many parents are NOT vaccinating their children, exposing EVERYONE to the possibility of any number of diseases and infections that haven’t been widespread for years, like whooping cough and measles.
It’s a very sensitive subject with parents, and one I would probably leave on the shelf among strangers (like religion and politics) because people’s mind’s are usually pretty made up on the topic. I will not try to convince someone otherwise if they choose to not vaccinate. I WILL protect my child from those people’s children by vaccinating them.
In less controversial news, I’d like to give a shout out to my sciatic nerve for ruining my day.
Avocado episode, part II.
Posted 19 Aug 2009 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category baby business, not so much, other people are morons
Category baby business, not so much, other people are morons
I ended up calling the nurses again yesterday about my pain, and they had me come in.
Before the midwife made his decision as to what was ailing me, he heard my complaints and aches and whatnot, then had me lay down so he could measure me and hear the baby – the old ute is 29cm long (grew by 5cm from a month ago) and he was BAFFLED at how short waisted I am. He said I have less than a foot between my hip and the bottom of my ribcage. (That’s not normal?) if I’m not already having aches in my ribs and back, they’ll be starting soon because there’s no where else for the baby to go. Great. Thanks mom! Just kidding. I know you didn’t choose this short-waisted-ness either. Do we blame my grandmother?
Anyway, he said in the end he thinks that it IS my gallbladder being a jerk, but doesn’t suspect stones or anything, just acting up with higher fat intake, less space to function and good old hormones throwing off the delicate balance of my organs. He said I just need to officially change my diet and cut out all high fat (or relatively fatty) foods. He wasn’t too concerned with the itching (my feet and hands were kind of itchy over the weekend), but said if it’s more constant and consistent that I should call in. (See the concern about itchiness of hands and feet here.) But he’s pretty secure in the thought that with a lower fat diet that I should be feeling better in no time.
The state fair starts next Thursday. So much for everything on a stick! (He said I can have a pickle on a stick, but what I really want is deep fried pickle slices dipped in ranch dressing. Nom nom nom.)
So, after all that, I ended up getting my Rhogam shot so I don’t have to go back in again tomorrow.
I’m hurting again today…just in that spot under my ribs, but dealing. It just sucks…and watching what I eat is REALLY going to suck. Not to sound like “that girl” – but I’ve never had to watch what I eat. Reading labels is very foreign to me. Although, I discovered that the donuts I bought at the grocery on Sunday may have been hurting me – 55% of daily value of SATURATED FAT in EACH ONE. Ooops. I suppose I could cut those out.
(look at that frosted goodness)
But seriously? Entenmann’s chocolate devil’s food cake donuts?! They are SO GOOD…eating one is almost worth the pain. Almost.
This is what I found on a website of what to avoid when you have gallbladder issues. It’s laughable.
Eggs, pork, onion, fowl, milk, coffee, oranges, grapefruit, corn, beans, nuts, in that order.
Trans fats
Hydrogenated, partially-hydrogenated oils
Margarine
Fried Foods
Saturated fats(even coconut oil until feeling better)
Red meats
Dairy products
Eggs
Coffee, regular or decaf
Chocolate
Ice cream
Black tea
Alcohol, beer, wine, liqueur
Fruit juice
Carbonated water
Tap water
Raddishes and turnips
Cabbage, cauliflower
Colas and all sodas
Oats (for some people)
Wheat
Barley
Rye (although the sour German ryes seem to be less troublesome)
All legumes (beans) as they tend to increase the cholesterol in the bile.
Avoid all artificial sweeteners, sugar, preservatives, refined and bleached foods (like white flour)
So, I can’t drink water, juice, milk, tea, coffee or soda. That leaves….what? This list is ridic.
WebMD’s article makes more sense. Maybe I’ll pay attention to that one instead.
[insert misc four-letter word here]
Posted 10 Jul 2009 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category baby business, not so much, other people are morons, the cats
Category baby business, not so much, other people are morons, the cats
Okay, most everyone will tell you, that aside from a few tired days where I had a short fuse due to sleepiness, I’ve been fairly okay to deal with. No outbursts, no crying fits, no douchiness overall.
Yesterday, that came to a screeching halt.
My day overall was lame. It started with a large pile of cat vomit (crabby factor= 2). I worked, got sucked into projects that aren’t mine (crabby factor=3), and luckily got to leave a little early so I could bring the Black Beauty (my trusty CR-V) in for an oil change. However, leaving early also meant being on the light rail with everyone that was at the Twins game. These aren’t your average transit customers – these are idiots that don’t know how to use mass transit times 1,540. All of us, crammed into a train, me protecting my tummy, standing next to a TOTAL booze hound. (Crabby factor now at a 5, trying to bring ‘er back to a 1 since I’m done with work for the day.)
I get home only to encounter THREE MORE PILES OF CAT BARF. (Crabbies now to an 8.) I quickly clean them up and hop in my car only to deal with rush hour traffic. (Crabbies holding around a 9.) Oil change complete, I drive home hoping the hubs is back from the game. (He was lucky enough to skip out of work for the afternoon and go. And also drink all day.). And there’s another pile of barf. And then another. That brings the barf total to SIX BARF CLEAN UPS. I’m at a full blown 10 on the crabby scale and the hubs is not home and not answering his phone. At this point, I’m screaming at the cats and any inanimate object that gets in my way. I’m near tears and cannot even attempt to calm myself down. We had planned on going to Lowes that evening to get another estimate for new doors for our house, and I was just not feeling it anymore. The hubs finally gets home, and I am SO MAD at this point that I’m thinking if I stabbed him, he probably wouldn’t press charges and I would feel SO MUCH BETTER. So, instead of inflicting bodily harm on him, I decide to go to the store and buy bread. I came home, ate a sammich and ironed shirts just so I could be by myself…because I knew if I sat in the same room as the hubs I would just burst into tears. Later I went to bed and had bizzare dreams all night and woke up feeling as though I’d been hit by a bus.
Now. I know that I have been able to deal with these kinds of things before without allowing them to affect my mood. However, everything combined with clearly elevated hormones made me a mad woman yesterday. I feel bad for being crabby with the hubs, but I honestly couldn’t help it, and part of me feels like he deserves to feel my wrath since he didn’t have an infant using his cervix as a trampoline yesterday.
I’m less crabby today, but still feel like if there were another chain of events like yesterday I would more than likely grab the nearest object and bludgeon someone with it.
Deep breaths.
Good god: A lunch hour tale.
Posted 24 Jun 2009 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category baby business, other people are morons, retail therapy
Category baby business, other people are morons, retail therapy
I ventured to Macy’s over my lunch hour to attempt to find some new flip-flops. That was a pretty decent fail. However, I was annoyed numerous times before I even walked through the doors of Macy’s – warning me that I should not be allowed in public today.
Annoyance #1: Do not plow your way into the elevator until you know the people on it have gotten off. There honestly is nothing more annoying. Wait THREE MEASLY SECONDS. It’s not that hard. That way, you don’t run into the pregnant lady trying to find comfortable shoes.
Annoyance #2: You’re on your way to lunch, not doing a triathlon. Therefore, running me over with your tacky handbag and paperback is not necessary just because you need to get to Au Bon Pain to buy a $10 salad and sit on your polyester covered ass for an hour.
Annoyance #3: Makeup counter ladies. When needed, you are nothing short of helpful. When I’m walking by you with my hot mac & cheese, sweating and being a “I don’t care about my appearance today” pregnant lady, now’s not the time. Seriously.
First lady at the NARS counter: OMG! I love your glasses! Too cute!
Sweaty, hungry me: Thanks! I actually bought them here.
Second NARS lady: You could really use some “Babe” on your lips.
First NARS lady: OMG – yes – let’s do a makeup trial!!!!!!
Me: (trying to remember what I look like today, and remembering I indeed look like shit and “Babe” will do nothing to save me)
Me: No thanks, gotta eat while it’s still warm! (nervous, crabby laugh)
So, now I’m back at my desk, after having inhaled that mac & cheese in about 5 minutes. And I’m still starving.
On the other annoying note for the day (that I’ll probably get hate mail for) – I’ve officially gained 10 pounds in this pregnancy. This is good, and all on schedule…but it’s weird. I’ve just never weighed this much in my entire life. I’m glad I’m finally gaining weight like I should. I just need to scale back the “eat whatever the eff I want” plan and get more fruits & veggies in there so I don’t put on another 10 in the next two weeks. 
