Maybe I’m more in tune to my body than I think. Maybe I AM in fact, Ms Cleo’s less-Jamaican intern.

I finally went to the doc yesterday because I was having a leaking sensation (again), and the midwife checked everything out and everything seemed good. He attributed the leaking sensation to the ridiculous amount of discharge I had. (gross) The tests he ran against it showed it wasn’t amniotic fluid, and that my cervix was still thick and tight, but the baby’s head was rightthere on my cervix. (PS – that makes my second internal – BOOO). He ran the test for the protein released when contractions are “going to work” and said he’d only call me if it came back positive, but that he didn’t anticipate that happening since everything looked good.

He just said to take it easy and come back in a couple weeks for my normal appointment.

And then at 8:00pm last night he called. The test came back positive. He said this test result means I have a slight chance of going into labor in the next two weeks. BUT he also said I could go full term, too. So, he basically said I have to come in next week for another internal, and I shouldn’t do anything out of the ordinary. Bed rest not required. If the BHs get close together again I need to come in and get hooked up to the monitors. He really was surprised that it came back positive. He said NOTHING from his exam pointed to this test coming back positive. He didn’t think steroid shots were necessary at this point (to mature the baby’s lungs).

(This is the webpage explaining the test.)

It seems like a lot of women have this test and still carry their babies to full term, but I’m still freaked out. I took today off so I could just lay and rest anyway…and I plan on doing that a lot this weekend. I’m still having contractions, and of course, they’re more uncomfortable than before, but I’m hoping that’s just because I had a dude’s hand up my vag for like, 10 minutes yesterday.

I was totally fine and being the calm one about it until I called my mom last night to tell her and then I cried like a baby. I’m not ready for an outside baby yet. AT ALL. Esp at this point.

But, it’s really kind of out of my hands. The whole pregnancy really is. I’m doing all I can to keep this baby healthy and inside…and if my body wants to be a jerk and send me into pre-term labor, then it will. Of course, I’ll still fight it till the end to keep this baby inside, but I can’t control anything. Which is a really shitty feeling.

Thoughts, prayers, good vibes – whatever you have to offer would be appreciated. I’l take what I can get at this point to keep this baby inside.