I’m just sitting at my desk today, and all of the sudden, I have a flash of being in a park on a summer day when I was 16. And just as quick as it came, it was gone. Then I realized where it was, and who I was with. (A small town in Wisconsin with then-boyfriend.)

All just so random, and so quick. I don’t know what triggered it.

Have you ever had a random flashback?

(Now it’s got me thinking of the Rip One Fest (not it’s real name but used to protect the innocent. I mean, anonymous.) that Martini and I used to attend annually. They made a gigantic cookie one year. And we’d play games to win mirrored Simpsons pictures in cardboard frames.)

You know, even though I was aware today was coming, it didn’t really bother me, or sink in that it’s been 7 years since douchebags attempted to get a gaggle of virgins delivered to their heavenly doorstep. I liked that I wasn’t really thinking about it.

Then this morning, when I turned on the tube to get the weather report – there it was, on every channel. Kind of exactly like the day it happened. I was in my car, on my way to class in St. Paul listening to the radio when it happened. Class was at 8:30. It started, but then halfway through – we were all told to go home. They were showing coverage in the little theater attached to the St. Paul Student Center. I sat down before walking to my car, watched the video of planes flying into the buildings and cried. I had to drive past downtown Minneapolis to get home, and the skyscrapers had never looked more different to me.

I’m torn. Part of me wishes I didn’t have to be reminded of all the sadness that occurred on this day. I am aware that it’s good that we remember. But, it’s such a bummer.

I know I’m only able to think this way because I didn’t know anyone that was affected by the shitty goings-on of 9/11/2001. I can’t imagine what getting through today is like for people that lost loved ones. But at the same time, wouldn’t they also not want to turn on the TV and have to relive it all over again?

My birthday is in a couple days. Every year since then, I just remember my birthday that year, and how insignificant it seemed. I was turning 21 – which is supposed to be an awesome day. My friends David and Angie and I went to see Jimmy Eat World and Hey Mercedes at First Avenue. We thought the show was going to be canceled because, well, pretty much everything was canceled following that Tuesday. But, it wasn’t. We went to the show. David bought me a gigantic Newcastle, which I held in my hands legally for the first time. I drank and sang along and had a good time. We got pizza at Pizza Luce after that. Bob Nanna (of Hey Merecedes/Braid fame) was there. He gave me a birthday hug. Given the circumstances, it was a pretty good birthday.

This year, I turn 28. I have no plans. This is the last year before birthdays will start to suck. (29 is basically 30 – so, yeah.) I’m just trying to focus myself on next weekend, when I walk 60 miles.

Sorry this post is kind of a downer. W. It’s 9/11. Deal.

Sending a post via my new Samsung Instinct…is it working?!

So, I watched So You Think You Can Dance last night. (Despite my hatred for a certain judge on that show.) And…I’m hooked. *sigh* I suppose it’s a good thing since Ghost Hunters is in reruns (and I HATE Ghost Hunters International).

Other than that, I got some laundry done last night. And tonight, it is a cleaning, house prepping extravaganza. We’re having a get together at our house tomorrow for the 4th – our first official BBQ. We get a keg of High Life and everything! Should be fun. But, Ms. Anal Retentive will be in full effect beforehand, since there’s a handful of people coming over who have never seen the house.