Saturday excitement.

Posted 05 Apr 2009 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category other people are morons

I have not posted in a long time, but today’s activities warranted a post. (Does this prove my life is boring? Only slightly.)

So the hubs and I went for a nice Saturday trip to Bed Bath & Beyond to find a new pillow for his achin’ head. We find one, and upon pulling into the alley, only a few garages away from our own, we see smoke. A LOT of smoke…billowing from what appears to be our garage. I floor it to investigate, and we determine that the smoke is coming from the yard of our new neighbor.

That’s right. This guy seems to think that burning leaves in your yard is legal in the city.

I’m sorry, sir – but you live IN MINNEAPOLIS. NOT IN BUMFARK, MINNESOTA. I still don’t understand WTF this guy was thinking. He raked all the leaves from his yard into a pile in what is the garden in the summer, and lit the thing on fire. All within 4 feet of a wooden fence, and 8 feet of our garage (which…trust me when I say, is really nothing but kindling being held together with a few nails and hope).

By the time we got home, our whole backyard was FILLED with the stinky smoke. We coughed and gagged our way into the back door, and then realized the smoke was pretty much beginning to stink up our home.

After not being able to turn up any laws against burning in yards (aside from one that said recreational burning must take place within a firepit or outdoor fireplace), I called 911. I really didn’t necessarily want to bust the guy, but I wanted to know if it was indeed legal.

So, I call, and tell the dispatcher that our neighbor is burning a pile of leaves in his backyard and … she cuts me off.

“You wouldn’t happen to be calling about (insert address of the house next door here)?”

“Uh, yeah, actually.”

“We already have the fire department on the way.”

Excellent. I’m glad someone else complained before me.

So the fire department comes down the street. The hubs actually sees them pointing into the backyard of the house, laughing. They probably can’t believe the guy’s such an idiot either. They come back into the alley, make the guy turn on his hose, and start raking the fire and putting it out. I’m wondering whether he was issued a citation for it or not, but whatever. I’m just glad he put the damn thing out. Our house stunk of smoke for a good 3 hours afterward.

And that my friends, is the most excitement I’ve had in a long, long time.

I’m dumb.

Posted 03 Apr 2009 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category baby business, I am a moron, retail therapy

So, this came in the mail this week. (the lotus flower “blanket”)

I apparently don’t enjoy reading because the description of the product clearly says it’s a “security blankie or changing mat.” I thought it was a straight up blanket. So imagine my dismay when I open it and it’s 18″ x 19″ – I felt cheated and wronged and like the woman who runs the etsy store must have sent me the wrong thing.

Oh no, I’m just a moron. I suppose I’ll get use out of it, but I was flabbergasted.

I’m still waiting on the owl blankie.

I’m also still waiting on taking a nap and wanting to leave work and never come back. Stay tuned for those.

It’s been decided.

Posted 02 Apr 2009 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category baby business

I need to win the lotto, as I have NO attention span or desire to be at work, EVER. If I could just not ever work again, I’d be golden.

Thus, I’m going to go ahead and win the lotto.

Pregnancy brain is a total bitch. Like, seriously. I lost the drive to complete this post at the word desire.

Things I think even non-pregnant people should own.

Posted 01 Apr 2009 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category baby business, RAD

A Be Band (or Bella Band).

Seriously, I have like, 3 pairs of pants that, pre-knockedupedness (I like making up words), I might have been able to continue wearing thanks to this contraption.

However, now that I am a bloat machine, this is a GODSEND. I was able to eat McDonald’s today and sit with my pants unbuttoned with my coworkers being none the wiser.

I bought two today at Target, one in black and one in white.

I love it. LOVE.

Seabands, you’ve only been working half the time, so I am now offering marriage to the Be Band. Sorry. Step up your game and it might be back to you.

8 weeks.

Posted 31 Mar 2009 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category baby business

Lack of bloat photo coming soon…

How far along? 8 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: – 2. Eating is not working so well lately.
Maternity clothes? Still only wearing lounge pants. The mat shirt looked ridiculous on me.

Stretch marks? No.

Sleep: Getting lame. I wake up a lot, and last week I officially began getting up to pee in the middle of the night.

Best moment this week: Seeing the little smudge on the screen! (smudge is the new nickname, thanks to my auntie Mitzi)

Movement: Nope.

Food cravings:
None, really. I’ve been feeling pretty sick lately, so nothing sounds good.
Gender: I’m still wishing girl but thinking boy.

Labor Signs:
Belly Button in or out?
What I miss: I still miss feeling normal. This week has been rough.

What I am looking forward to: Hospital tour on Saturday.

Weekly Wisdom:
None, really. I wish I had some regarding a miracle cure for feeling shitty.
Seeing and hearing the heartbeat!