Archive for March, 2011

Admitting defeat is the first step towards…

Posted 09 Mar 2011 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category not so much, TheRapists

I was going to say “winning,” but after you finish reading the contents of this post, I didn’t want anything that might make me sound like Charlie Sheen.

Maybe I’ll say victory.

I haven’t been to seen the Magic Doctor (read: therapist) since before Christmas. I haven’t mentioned her here since September. Honestly, things felt better. I haven’t had an anxiety stomach since I don’t even know when. I’ve been happy with my job and not so worried about being a stay at home mom.

As I type this, I had in my head that I didn’t know why I suddenly feel like I’ve fallen down an emotional flight of stairs. I had thought maybe it was pressure I’ve been putting on myself to take care of everything at home. Really, I know it’s the culmination of a lot of things. I don’t cope well with change. (I don’t cope well with a lot of things, let’s be honest.) In the past month, the company I work for laid off 8% of it’s workforce, and we were kept in limbo wondering if we were losing our jobs. Luckily, I got to keep mine. We ended up with Abby in the ER on Sunday night. And when all this shit hits the fan, when I start feeling myself slipping down those first steps, I just try to deal. I try to fix in my mind whatever is pushing me. I try to focus on what makes me happy. It’s when I realize that nothing is making me stay happy that I’m falling.

That’s the way I’ve felt for weeks.

It grosses me out to think that my online shopping hiatus is adding to this, because as I jokingly title posts like that, it is what it is – retail therapy. I’m broke and not allowing myself to shop online and I have nowhere to put my negative energy. And it builds.

So, that’s where I stand. I have an appointment scheduled to see the Magic Doctor next week. Sorry if you’re a friend or family member reading this not knowing I felt this way right now.  Sorry if it seems weird that I have an easier time typing this for the whole interwebs to read before I would pick up the phone and call. I have trouble talking to people about this kind of stuff. If you couldn’t already figure that out.

Rest assured I’m not going off the deep end like Charlie Sheen. Although you can catch my first vlog tomorrow night entitled “Tiger Blood and Warlocks equal #WINNING.”

THE CROUP! Part 2, and I can’t believe it’s only been 8 days.

Posted 08 Mar 2011 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category Abigail, motherhood, retail therapy

First. THE CROUP! It’s strikes again! “But Jenna!” you exclaim, “it’s only been less than 4 weeks since she had it!” Why YES, internets, you’re correct! So, imagine my surprise when we ended up in the ER at nearly 11pm Sunday night with our Abbers and the worst stridor we’ve seen. Poor girl was so tired and feverish and couldn’t sleep because we were in a noisy ER with drunk fools and other kids with respiratory problems. Alas, they gave her an oral dose of Prednisone and after an hour of observation, we were allowed to go home. At 1am. I don’t need to tell you that her sleep schedule (and thus, her sleep training) has taken a gigantic shit. I only hope that when she’s finally feeling better (probably sometime in May when the snow has finally melted) (I’m not being sarcastic either) she’ll go to bed like a good girl again.

I will say, the difference without and now with the steriods is NIGHT AND DAY. She’s so much better this time around, though still sick with a cough & runny nose, but so much less struggling with breathing at night.

Now, the other part of my post. It’s only been eight days since I put myself in an online shopping ban and I’m going INSANE. I’m not allowing myself to look, because if I look, I will buy. The not looking is what’s so hard. Just because I’m not visiting those sites anymore, doesn’t mean I don’t see their products.  Must…not…look…

I DID buy Abby a dress at Hanna Anderson this weekend at ye olde Mall of America.

(it was on sale)

But it’s been 8 days, and I haven’t bought anything yet. This is going to be a long month.