Archive for the ‘not so much’ Category

Oh, hey. Guess what?

Posted 01 Apr 2011 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category baby business, I am awesome, not so much

APRIL FOOLS, DUDE.

 

(just kidding. april fools!)

Admitting defeat is the first step towards…

Posted 09 Mar 2011 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category not so much, TheRapists

I was going to say “winning,” but after you finish reading the contents of this post, I didn’t want anything that might make me sound like Charlie Sheen.

Maybe I’ll say victory.

I haven’t been to seen the Magic Doctor (read: therapist) since before Christmas. I haven’t mentioned her here since September. Honestly, things felt better. I haven’t had an anxiety stomach since I don’t even know when. I’ve been happy with my job and not so worried about being a stay at home mom.

As I type this, I had in my head that I didn’t know why I suddenly feel like I’ve fallen down an emotional flight of stairs. I had thought maybe it was pressure I’ve been putting on myself to take care of everything at home. Really, I know it’s the culmination of a lot of things. I don’t cope well with change. (I don’t cope well with a lot of things, let’s be honest.) In the past month, the company I work for laid off 8% of it’s workforce, and we were kept in limbo wondering if we were losing our jobs. Luckily, I got to keep mine. We ended up with Abby in the ER on Sunday night. And when all this shit hits the fan, when I start feeling myself slipping down those first steps, I just try to deal. I try to fix in my mind whatever is pushing me. I try to focus on what makes me happy. It’s when I realize that nothing is making me stay happy that I’m falling.

That’s the way I’ve felt for weeks.

It grosses me out to think that my online shopping hiatus is adding to this, because as I jokingly title posts like that, it is what it is – retail therapy. I’m broke and not allowing myself to shop online and I have nowhere to put my negative energy. And it builds.

So, that’s where I stand. I have an appointment scheduled to see the Magic Doctor next week. Sorry if you’re a friend or family member reading this not knowing I felt this way right now.  Sorry if it seems weird that I have an easier time typing this for the whole interwebs to read before I would pick up the phone and call. I have trouble talking to people about this kind of stuff. If you couldn’t already figure that out.

Rest assured I’m not going off the deep end like Charlie Sheen. Although you can catch my first vlog tomorrow night entitled “Tiger Blood and Warlocks equal #WINNING.”

It would only figure.

Posted 30 Jan 2011 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category Abigail, baby business, not so much

It’s 9pm. We already put Abby down for the night because she seemed extra tired today and a little sniffley. She was fast asleep, and now she’s awake, and crying hysterically. She has a cold. Sleep training night three? FOILED.

(For the record, last night after she fell asleep, she slept for almost 12 hours.)

**Update**
Abby did eventually fall back asleep thanks to the excellent rocking & soothing skills of her dada. And she slept through the night. Turns out she not only is sick with a cold (and the runniest nose on the planet) but she’s also got at least one tooth coming in as well. Poor girl.

Sleeeeeep, my pretty.

Posted 26 Jan 2011 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category Abigail, baby business, motherhood, not so much, other people are awesome, The Hubs

Just to get it out of the way – my insides are much better, thank you for asking. I’ve managed 3 meals without any, eh…distress, so that’s awesome. And I came into work this morning! Well, maybe more like this afternoon since I got all purdied up and came to work only to realize my laptop was still at home. (This SO isn’t the first time I’ve done this.) So I had to walk back to my car and go home and get it. BUT I WAS AT WORK TODAY, DAMMIT! And it felt REALLY good to be there. Mostly to be out of the house.

SO. Where do I begin this story? Hmmm. Hokay. So, since the dawn of Abbers we had ONE way of getting her to sleep, and that was in our arms.  Sitting on the couch, walking her in circles around the dining room table, rocking her in her room, you name it – it happened in our arms. This wasn’t too big of a deal. When she got to be about 9 months, I asked her doctor about it. Her response? “She won’t need to fall asleep in your arms when she’s going off to college, so I wouldn’t worry about it.” She also referred me to a few books, including Ferber and others. So, we let it slide some more. If it ain’t broke, why fix it? (See also: I’m scurred of sleep training.)

Fast forward to a few months ago,  suddenly Abbers has her nighttime bottle (shut up about her having a bottle, we’ll deal with that eventually) and instead of passing out in our arms, she’s a little ball of energy. And BOOK! READ ME THIS BOOK! I DON’T WANT TO BE HELD! And I’ll scream if you suggest sleeping! This was usually lasting us until 10, even 11pm sometimes. We resorted to laying her in our bed while one of us lays with her in the dark. (Probably a bad idea.) She’ll pull out every trick in the book, laughing at nothing, pulling her socks off, testing gravity, but eventually will quiet down and fall asleep (pseudo on her own). AND NOW, she will wake up in the middle of the night, will not fall asleep or allow you to put her back down in her crib, so she ends up back in our bed because WE NEED SLEEP SOMETIMES TOO, little girl.

We’ve been battling this for a while. And with the holidays, vacations, random nights out – it’s never been a good time to attempt sleep training.

Until this weekend.

I’ve been asking interweb friends, twitpeeps – you name it, I feel like I’ve gotten advice and encouragement from every last one of you. For some reason, it wasn’t until I read this blog post by Melissa at Dear Baby that I felt like I might actually be able to do it.

Abby is not going to do well. She will cry until she gags and maybe even barfs. She does that a lot if she gets hysterical. I’m preparing myself for that. I’m also preparing for having my own little meltdown since I’ll be extra hormonal by this weekend, likely crying at Disney World commercials I’ve seen a fafillion times.

Abby WILL do this though. I know she knows how to fall asleep on her own, I watch it nearly every night in our bed. She’s a smart girl. And she knows we are here. So, please, if you have any extra good juju to pass our way, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD pass it our way. It’s going to be a long weekend.

I’ll report as I can after Friday night, aka DOOMSDAY FOR ABBERS.

BRAT.

Posted 24 Jan 2011 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category not so much

I was planning on coming back from vacay and writing an epic recap post, along with something about our pending plans to get this little kid on the sleep training…uh…train, when something else happened.

I thought I was going to die. In fact, I occasionally still do.

I woke up Sunday morning with what felt like the worst acid reflux/heartburn ever. Then I got the business. I wrote it off to late-night orange consumption and took a Pepto. The pain kept getting worse. I popped some Prevacid. Nothing. Then the pain got to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore. I thought I had a bleeding ulcer, or that my gallbladder had finally had enough and was trying to explode out of my abdomen. The hubs stayed home with Abbers while his mom & I went to the ER.

The doc gave me a Maalox & numbing-something concoction to rule out stomach issues. It didn’t help. He probed my tummy and I nearly went through the roof when he touched my right side. He started mumbling about my appendix or my gallbladder and I started panicking. I ended up getting a CAT scan and he determined that my “ascending colon” (that’s in quotes because I don’t know what the hell that is) was thickened and enlarged, probably due to a case of….

TRAVELERS DIARRHEA.

Is that not the grosses thing you’ve ever heard? Worst part is, diarrhea (shudder) wasn’t my big issue. My issue was the horrendous pain I was in. I got a prescription for Cipro which he said only to use if the…ehem….business doesn’t get better. (It has.) The pain is still lingering, as is my new diet. The BRAT diet – bananas, rice, applesauce and toast.

I’m feeling better, for the most part. My most awesome brother-in-law came over today to lend a hand with Abbers while I rested. I’m eating my toast like a champ and the pain is about a quarter of what it was yesterday. I get little episodes where it hurts REALLY bad, but they’re getting fewer and fewer. I’m hoping that by tomorrow I’m back in the saddle again, to quote Aerosmith. (It only seemed totally out of context and thus, belonged in this post.)

So yeah. I totally just spent a whole post talking about poop and pain and whatever. Don’t hate me. It happens to everyone.