You made me a promise. A promise of controlling my hunger for 4 hours. Yet here I am, 2.5 hours after consuming you, and I am EFFING STARVING. What gives? I saved you from a dusty shelf at Rainbow Foods, and yet…you betray me.

Well, Slim Fast Bar, try this on for size; your partner in crime – Slim Fast Shake – treats me WAY better than you do.

So here’s the plan – either you start doing your damn job, or you’re getting tossed in the trash. (Which won’t be easy since you were so damned expensive.) I’ll do it. Don’t tempt me.

SHAPE UP OR SHIP OUT!

Signed,
Squishy McSquisherson.