I’m talking about mommy guilt.

As I was up with Abbers during her 3rd wake up at 3am, sitting in the glider rocking her back to sleep when it hit me. I’m leaving her. Again. We just left her with her grandparents about 10 days ago when we went to a cabin for the weekend. She stayed with them Saturday night for a concert we went to (also to get some much needed sleep). And now, Wednesday, she’ll be joining them until we get back from New York on Sunday.

And I cried.

I know I’ll have fun, and I know “we deserve to get away once in a while,” but that won’t stop me from feeling like the worst mother ever. And I know I’m not. But…you get what I mean.

Maybe canceling my TheRapist appointment today was a bad idea. But seriously, I HAVE TO PACK. And it will take me about 7 hours to do so, and feel comfortable that I didn’t forget anything important. Like, 3 pairs of high heeled shoes I’ll wear for 15 minutes each before removing and putting on my flats.