Just keeping it real.

Posted 02 Feb 2011 in Abigail, baby business, motherhood, The Hubs

I’m writing this post to serve as a reminder, mostly to myself, that I typically take this motherhood gig with a grain of salt. Abby is a really, REALLY easy kid. We rarely have any major issues or crazy stories to tell. Then there’s nights like tonight, that can be described as nothing short of a comedy of errors.

The hubs was running Abby’s bath, I was in the kitchen getting ready to do dishes. Abby’s been in the tub for a little bit when I hear, “uh… Jenna? Can you come in here?” I’m expecting a funny Abby trick or to grab a washcloth.

I get in the bathroom to find Abby standing on the bath rug naked, the tub with stuff floating in it. My first instinct is that she finally pooped in the tub (something I’ve been weirdly expecting for a while), but the hubs explains differently; Abby’s new hobby is sticking her open mouth in the water and getting water in her mouth. Something I’d like her to stop doing, but you try telling a 1 year old not to do something. Tonight is no different, and she does the same, except this time she gets a mouthful of water. And chokes.

She starts choking and gagging, coughing the water up and suddenly starts barfing her lunch (not her dinner, HER LUNCH) into the tub. The hubs pulls her out of the barf bath and stands her on the rug, where she immediately commences pissing all over.

I walk in to find a tub full of half chewed hotdog pieces and a really wet bathmat. Abby is squealing “BATTTHHH! BATTHHH!” because she wants to get back in (gross) having not been impacted AT ALL by just barfing and peeing within a minute of each other…and the hubs is just standing there, half laughing and half shell-shocked at what a complete fail this bath has become.

The water drains out, I fish all the hotdog pieces out of the tub with a paper towel, rinse it and all the toys off, and we start filling it again. Except now there is no hot water. We filled the tub and the sink up at the same time 10 minutes before, and apparently have a five gallon water heater.

So, there is no hot water for another “BAATTTHHHH!!!,” or to wash the piss out of the rug.

And this, friends is what parenthood is all about. May I never forget.

For a quick sleep training update – Abby cries when she knows she’s about to be laid down to sleep, but the minute she’s in her crib she’s quiet and sleep within seconds. It’s been going really well. My parents will be in town starting tomorrow, so we’ll see if that has any affect on her nighttime routine. (They are staying at a hotel, so I don’t expect too much of an issue.)


  1. I almost spit my beverage when I read your tweet but the full explanation was hilarious. This is a true parenting moment. I love that she was totally unfazed by barfing in the tub and wanted to get back in.

  2. This was laugh-out-loudable. Four stars Abby!

  3. D

    My kid loves bath time and I can see her getting pretty upset for not letting her get back in. But great parenting story and glad to hear the sleep training has been going well.

  4. Oh FUN! My daughter never pooped in the tub thank goodness. We still sometimes have issues with water in the mouth, but usually only at the pool. She is five though now and it isn’t as bad as it was. At least she spits it out now.

    I know. EWWW, in the pool???

  5. Ewww, gross! Brayden hasn’t puked in the tub, but he does the same thing where he tries to drink the water (from the running spout, out of his rinse cup, or just sticks his face in the water) and then gags.

  6. Oh aren’t kids fun! The amount of bodily fluids I have mopped up, scrubbed off, is amazing. So glad to hear sleep stuff is going well. I honestly feel like that’s 90% of parenting. My kids are still not fantastic about going to sleep, and my eldest is 8.

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