Selling Our House Is Making Me Feel All The Feels.

Posted 22 Apr 2013 in house stuffs, marriage, motherhood, not so much, paparazzi, toddler business

You guys. This house selling business? Pretty much the dumbest thing we’ve ever decided to do. I mean, yeah – in the end it will be a new chapter in our lives that shapes…blah blah zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Sorry. So tired. Because BUY MY HOUSE.


After stressing for a few weeks, and staging, purging, organizing, cleaning, and shoving all remaining items into closets, drawers, and please don’t look under our bed…our house hit the market Saturday morning. And minutes later, we had our first showing scheduled. Yesterday we had another, and then an open house.

It’s only been 3 days and I’m already freaking out. What if nobody buys it. What it the reasons I want to move are all the things people can see in the house?

The first couple ‘s feedback was A great house. Number two on our list. Good. VERY good.


The second couple’s feedback? Too close to high school. Uh….I KNOW. As a newly married couple who bought this house over five years ago? We could literally give a fuck. We had many fucks to give on this topic. Now? GET OFF MY LAWN WITH YOUR CHEETOS BAGS YOU JERKS. But seriously, for 2.5 years of being in this house I didn’t care. Now? I just want a more family friendly hood in an awesome school district. (I’m so old.) So…someone has to have the capacity to look past that small issue, right? Because we did?

Back to this being a dumb idea – who the hell can keep their house this clean? I mean, I can’t even BEGIN to imagine what happens to larger families with houses that sit on the market for MONTHS. How do you keep a house SPOTLESS for that long? I mean, we’ve had ours “photo ready” since Friday and already I feel like the worst mom on the planet. On Sunday, two hours before a showing and open house, Abby managed to spill her apple juice three times that morning. After the third time I sternly told her “WE ARE TRYING TO KEEP THE HOUSE CLEAN AND YOU’RE MAKING MAMA SAD WHEN YOU SPILL.” (Great parenting, me. That’ll stop three-year-old clumsiness.) No less than 5 minutes later, I heard her in the bathroom doing something and left my kitchen cleaning to make sure she wasn’t messing something up. When I entered the bathroom she jumped and dropped the hand towel she was struggling to retrieve. I asked her what she was doing, and she answered “nothing” which I’ve already learned is code for “something I will not disclose on the grounds that it may incriminate me.” After some coaxing, she explained that she spilled some more apple juice on the tray in the living room but I was being too mean so she didn’t want to tell me. She was going to try to clean it up herself. When I went in the living room, it was the smallest dot of juice.


I nearly broke down in bad mama tears in front of her, but kept it in check. I was turning into a crazy person trying to keep the house clean and also managing to make my three year old terrified of me. I gave her a big hug and said sorry that I was being mean, and that I didn’t mean it. I informed her that I would be nicer, gave her a paper towel in case she spilled again (and that accidents happen and it’s not a big deal!) and that when she sells her first house she can think back on this moment when her mama had her foot in the insane asylum door and realize that selling your house really is the dumbest idea ever.

Because THEN when we looked at other houses I started getting all sad because I LIKE MY HOUSE YOU GUYS. I really do. If I could pick it up and move it somewhere else I probably would. Of course, it was built in 1932 and I feel like moving it might have structural implications, so we’re not going to explore that avenue.

I just…so many things, you guys. People who buy houses and then fix them up only to sell them again? And also do this as a business? WITH THEIR FAMILIES? Have to be slightly crazy and also on lots of emotion numbing medication because I don’t know how I’m going to get through this without there being many tears for many reasons.

This was such a dumb idea.


  1. The (far) Western burbs have awesome schools and at least one awesome family. Cough.
    Laura recently posted..So This is Spring? My Profile

  2. I thought we would move as soon as we could (we got the first time home buyer tax credit so had to do our time first), but we haven’t – for every reason you listed and more. I totally understand people who buy their “forever home” before kids now. They were smart.
    Samantha recently posted..Forced Family Fun My Profile

  3. I feel you. Our house was on the market for 3.5 MONTHS when Everly was not quite 2 yet and holy jeebus it made me INSANE. We did the purge, the clean, the picture perfect thing. Then spent every moment cleaning behind ourselves. And then spent every weekend with 1 of us taking her to the park or mall or whatever (in mother effing October) while the other ran around windexing and shoving things places, so we could have an open house. And then we’d come home and she’d eat crackers and I wanted to punch everything. Not to mention having to lock the dog in the car or whatever.

    Selling a home when there are children is a special type of hell. It’s stupid and stupid and REALLY REALLY STUPID. I’m certain most of my grey hairs come from then.
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  4. It’ll all be worth it when you’re in a fabulous new place!! Also, I’m going to miss those attic stairs that felt like climbing the sheer side of a mountain. With a suitcase. Love those.
    Amanda recently posted..Week 14: But I Don’t Wanna! My Profile

  5. Amy

    Hang in there, Jen! I was in your shoes a mere 2+ years ago (with 2 kiddos! ) and I did do it for months! 7 to be precise. If I (a control/anal/neat freak can get through it so can you!) 😉 In no time at all you will look back at all this hassle and stress and it will seem like a blink of an eye….I promise!!!! It’s so worth it in the end!!! You will turn your new house into a home and it will feel so good to come home to! Hugs and love!!!! (ps I like exclamation points) :)

  6. Ruth

    My house sale completed today. I feel totally sad as I’m not yet buying another one and don’t know when and if I will for a good while. I had to move due to a new job in a different area after redundancy. I LOVED my house, and like you, if I could have picked it up and moved it somewhere else I would have done that – as the area went down hill and became too noisy / messy – another reason for selling. Thought about letting it – but was worried someone would trash it, or leave because of the reasons I did (noise etc.). It’s a hard one, selling a home, moving, it’s stressful and emotiona. All the best.

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