I simply cannot accept the fact that an entire year has gone by. It seems like just yesterday my bed-ridden ass was firmly planted on the couch, pelvis about to split in two, stranded in a sea of bottled water and low-fat foods (thanks gallbladder!). And then, it only seems a few months ago we were sleeping in shifts with your bassinet making the round trip from the living room to our bedroom.

Today is a day of mixed emotions. I am both happy and sad that you’re one year old. I am thankful I don’t have to deal with the days of feeling like I might break you, or when you’d cry and I’d have absolutely no clue what to do to soothe you. But I also miss when you were just so tiny that you’d fit on my chest like a little teddy bear, fast asleep and cooing softly. Now, you’re like an animal struggling to get comfy while you take up my entire torso AND shoulder. (But I love that too.) You’re just such a little lady now. In only one year.

To date, you can say (in your own way): ball, baby, quack, hot, hi, bye-bye, belly button, doggie, woof-woof and of course, mama and dada. You sniff when you see flowers…anywhere. On TV, in a book, on my shirt; you wrinkle your nose and sniff. It might be the cutest thing ever. You also (even though you acted as if you had no interest in learning how) blew your dada a kiss on Monday without being prompted. You aren’t walking yet, but I would guess that by Christmas you’ll be on your feet.

You are, without a doubt, the most important thing in our lives. We love you more than even we understand. This has been one of the most educational, emotionally trying, beautiful and completely awesome years of my life. I can only expect to say that again and again for the years to come.

To think, my idea of having a baby was initially sparked by my nerdy curiosity – what would happen to me if I became pregnant?

And a year later, I can answer with this: