I’m going to take ballet classes.

And for the most part, it has everything to do with the movie Black Swan.

No, I do not want to become the crazed, red-eyed star of a Swan Lake remake that makes out with Mila Kunis (but I will admit Mila is pretty), but I want to do SOMETHING. And ballet seems like a good idea.

But Jenna! Have you ever even danced before?
Why YES. I have! Granted, I was 3, maybe 4 years old. BUT I WAS A DANCER, DAMMIT. I also took classes at the YWCA for a while before I got knocked up called “The Barre” which was all ballet stretches. So, I’m pretty confident I’ll pull a muscle in the first class and probably have to sit out a few weeks.

My lovely sister-in-law mentioned classes in some suburb I’ve barely heard of and we both signed up. Although today we were informed that the class was canceled due to low enrollment. Stupid community outreach. Anyway, I looked around and a local dance institute offers open classes on Saturdays that are right up my alley. So I’m going to do it. I’m going to learn ballet. Again.

I’ll be honest – a lot of the reason I’m doing this is because I don’t exercise. At all. I take the stairs at my office sometimes, but usually I’m too lazy so I don’t. I feel like a lop and haven’t worked out since before I got pregnant, which was OVER TWO YEARS AGO. That’s essentially two years of sitting on my ass. Well, and chasing after a toddler more recently, but mostly sitting on my ass. I need to be active. And even though Natalie Portman was a total crazycakes in Black Swan, I was so envious of all the beautiful ballet dancers, the gracefulness, and just overall fun it appeared to be. (I know, most people saw it being grueling work and an obsession that lead to insanity, BUT I SAW FUN.)

So, that’s that. I’m buying ballet shoes tomorrow (not these, TRUST ME…I was never meant for pointe. If you know me, you know my feet/toes. Those are not the toes of a ballet dancer.) as well as some leggings since apparently the instructors need to see the lines of your body to see if you’re doing it right. Which is obviously not really necessary because OF COURSE I’M DOING IT RIGHT. I did this when I was 3. It’s like riding a bike, isn’t it? Like a 30 year old riding a 3 year old’s bike. Full of grace and my knees are hitting the handlebars and GET OUT OF MY WAY I’M FALLING OVER.

I am so effing excited.