He seemed normal.
Posted 16 May 2008 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category not so much, RAD
Category not so much, RAD
Anyone who rides public transit will be able to relate to what happened to me this morning.
I had to run to the train this morning because it was pulling up as I was just getting to the platform.
Now, everyone knows that you have about 7 nanoseconds to make a superficial judgment of the people you have options to sit next to.
My mental list –
-Do they look insane? (this includes people who talk to themselves, certain “street folk,” possible serial killer, etc.)
-Are they clean?
-Are they looking for someone to talk to?
And that’s about it. As long as I’m sitting next to someone who’s going to leave me alone and isn’t going to make me vomit, I’m okay.
So, I get on in a hurry, do a quick mental evaluation of my options and sit down to an older gentleman who seems pretty much harmless.
After a minute, I can smell stale cigarettes to the extent that it’s obvious that he’s a chain smoker. Fine. He’s not smoking – none of my business.
Then – it hits me…the overwhelming stench of like – uncleanliness. It’s a smell that’s rampant on many of the “street folk” I referenced earlier. I don’t know if I’ll go so far as to call it “pee pants” but it was BAD. At one point, I had to cough and I knew if I got any whiff of his stink I would gag-cough which is not only uncomfortable but embarrassing. And…I gag-coughed.
He looked normal! I don’t want to add “old people” to my list of people not to sit next to but if this happens again, I may have to.
Also – the crazy who gets on a couple stops before I get off was riding today. He cuts his own hair, wears sweaters always (regardless of the temperature) and kind of looks like Fire Marshall Bill, without the burns. His trademark move is bitching aloud about the train stopping at traffic lights in downtown. (The “train” is actually light rail, and in downtown it has to abide by traffic lights like the rest of the world.) Not too big of a deal. EVERY time the train stops for a red light he starts with the crabbies. “Fucking light rail. Who the fuck decided it needs traffic lights. Five fucking minutes.” EVERY TIME! It never fails. This morning was no different. He held back a little – I was anticipating it so much that when he finally started in on his tirade I nearly started laughing. It was a rough 4 minutes.
And…that is all.
Back on track.
Posted 13 May 2008 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category cancer sucks, The Hubs
Category cancer sucks, The Hubs
It’s been an exhausting couple of weeks.
After Julie died, I doubled as dedicated corporate employee (working 8 hour days from my parent’s house or dad’s office) and emotional support for everyone in my family. The hubs came on Wednesday night, and the funeral was Thursday, May 1st – exactly three years to the date that Julie was diagnosed with breast cancer. (I found that creepy.) The hubs and I hung around my parents place until Saturday and drove back to Minneapolis. My Aunt Mitzi and my grandma followed us in their own car – to get away, and to see the house. It was super nice having them there, and I’m guessing a nice change from the stress that had been the previous three weeks. We went to the horse track on Sunday, I lost $40. But we had a ton of fun. They left on the next day.
Then, last Wednesday, the hubs and I and a couple of his buddies got on a plane and went to Chicago for a couple baseball games and beer consumption. White Sox fans are a different breed. Not like Twins fans. 
But they beat us anyway. We went to a Cubs game too while we were there. It was colder than a witches teat (what does that mean anyway?) and I ended up having to buy a coat on Friday for the Cubs game. Luckily, there’s a store in Wrigleyville called Belmont Army and it’s my second favorite store in the country. (My favorite is Aprie in Seattle.) I got a Free People coat for 40% off. (And then went back after the game and bought a pair of jeans and a couple tee shirts.) Chicago has the GREATEST shopping, but since I was with three dudes, sports and beer reigned supreme. At least I got a little bit in. We flew back on Saturday and spent Mother’s day at the hubs’ parents house.
The past few nights I’ve been having serious trouble sleeping. I keep having really vivid dreams about death, my family, or doing things out of the ordinary for me to do. I usually wake up sweating and can’t fall back asleep. Before I woke up this morning at 2:30am, I had a dream I was living with someone who had bugs and maggots all over their house and furniture and they did nothing about it. When I finally fell back asleep, I dreamed about my aunt Mitzi and her brother planning to purposely OD on something at my grandma’s. I was curled up next to Mitzi when she died, but I didn’t know she had because my body heat was keeping her warm. My grandma decided she didn’t want anyone else to be in the house she lived in – so she set fire to the place with herself, my aunt, uncle and mom inside. She made me leave. I woke up at 3:30 am and immediately started thinking about Julie being in the hospital. I cried for over an hour before I fell back asleep again.
I’m scared this will never go away. I cry randomly and quietly. Little things remind me of Julie (both when she was healthy and right before she died). I can’t imagine how her boys are coping. I’m afraid to go to sleep tonight.
Anyway, today I plan on walking (training) for the first time in a month. It’s only 3 miles today, but it needs to be done. I’m so far behind. I didn’t train at all since all this crap happened with my aunt & being in Chicago.
T-minus 16 days until I get to see my BFF! A girls weekend is just what the doctor ordered.
I swear I’m still alive!!
Posted 12 May 2008 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category blog bidnass
Category blog bidnass
I’ve just been out of town/working like mad/vegging out so nothing is getting updated. I’ll have a big juicy update soon, I hope!
I hear a robin out my window…
Posted 28 Apr 2008 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category cancer sucks
Category cancer sucks
…I used to have a See and Say at my grandmothers house. There was a panel with a picture of a robin on it that had the same song. Except, I think it just said, “The bird says…” I’ve always been able to recognize that song as a robin’s because of that See and Say, since I was about 5 years old.
Julie died just about an hour ago.
