blogged bliss – marriage, motherhood and sarcasm / blogged bliss

In all seriousness…

Posted 26 May 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category marriage, motherhood, not so much

So, this is the post I started last week that was going to be a more serious post. Turns out, all I even typed out was the title. But I still remember the topic.

I’m going to jump around here a bit. Stay with me.

It seems like lately, all I’m doing is wishing for things to be different. So much so that it nearly consumes my thoughts when I have a spare moment to daydream. My biggest wish? To win the lottery or suddenly be handed a crap-ton of money. I know, I know – a lot of people wish for the same thing. But I think about it ALL THE TIME. Because it would for the most part, solve a lot of my problems. Again – I know this would also solve a lot of problems for other people, but we’re talking about ME, people. IT’S ALL ABOUT ME! *cough* Anyway…

I wish so badly every day that I could be a stay at home mom. EVERY DAY. This just isn’t possible because we need my income. In fact, I’m trying to start working four 10 hour days (instead of four 8 hour days) in order to get back to 40 hours a week and more money.

So, in essence, a lotto win would equate to never having to work again. And the thought makes me so happy that I simply cannot stop thinking about it. I don’t even think about what else I could do with the money, just knowing I could stay home with Abby is enough. I’m so happy when I’m with her. But when I’m not…

I also am having a hard time with my emotions lately. I’m usually a pretty happy person, but I seem to be crying more often and just kind of in a funk that I can’t shake. I have a huge group of ladies I love more than any e-buddies evar, but I can’t bring myself to talk with them much anymore. I don’t really talk to any of my IRL friends anymore either, save one. I don’t know why. It has nothing to do with them and everything to do with me. I keep blaming my hormones (DAMN THIS MIRENA!) but I don’t know if that’s it. And I’m not ready to start waving the PPD flag, because seriously? I just can’t. I don’t feel like that’s me. And that just leaves me…here. With no answers. Feeling slightly crazy and just hoping that tomorrow I’ll feel better. Some days I do. Others, not so much.

I kind of just feel trapped in my own mind. Like, if I vocalize my inner monologue EVER I will surely be locked up in some sort of looney bin or asylum for special people. I have a lot of issues I need to work out regarding a lot of things, but instead I choose to keep everything locked up, because I simply do not feel like dealing with anything.

::deep breaths::

So…there’s my serious post. I don’t know how I feel about actually putting all of this out there, but I am. I kind of feel like I’m in that dream where you’re in the middle of a crowd with no clothes on and everyone is staring at you. I guess I’m just hoping that someone out there can hand me a robe. Preferably one made of lightweight cotton. It’s warm out, doode.

A voice only a dog could hear.

3 Comments

Posted 23 May 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category Abigail, blog bidnass, I am awesome, motherhood, paparazzi

Maybe not. You be the judge.

But before I give a longer description to the cuteness that is my Abbers “dancing” in a laundry basket, I’ll say this: Thursday I started a post that was going to be all serious and a topic that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately…and I just didn’t know where to go with it so I bailed. I still want to publish it, but I don’t know.

Anyway – the weekend was spend with friends visiting from Milwaukee and TWELVE INNINGS OF BASEBALL. And lots and lots of heat. And yardwork. And awesomeness.

Anyway, without further adieu – Abbers and her dancing skillz.

Dancing Abbers! from jenna bee on Vimeo.

Yeah, I don’t totally believe my voice sounds like that, but apparently it does. If this video has taught me anything it’s that I need to start using my “adult” voice at home more. And to look into being voice talent for cartoons.

All work and no play…

3 Comments

Posted 19 May 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category Abigail, I am a moron, RAD

…wait, I lied. I played on Monday. Nevermind. And Saturday.

Saturday we went to Art-a-Whirl, an art gallery crawl in NE Minneapolis. We had a good time, aside from the trip we ended up taking to Target due to parental preparedness FAIL. We thought we could navigate crowded sidewalks and galleries with a stroller. NOPE. And, instead of driving the half hour home to get the Bjorn, we drove to Target instead and bought an Infantino Front2Back carrier (LOVE, hurts my back no more or less than the Bjorn with an 18 lb baby but can be worn on the back WHICH IS AWESOME) and a pair of shorts for the lil’ lady since it got a little toasty out. (My ass left a sweat mark on a chair I was sitting on. Just to give you an idea. And a pretty mental image.)

Sunday we played house and went to Home Depot where we purchased flowers, a couple hanging baskets and stuff needed to get the lawn looking good. I then battled Abby for the afternoon trying to get her to sleep. She wasn’t having it, so I gave up. I DID get my flower planters…uh…planted. So I got something done.

Monday, Abbers and I took a trip to Lake Calhoun and walked the lake. She took a little snooze, I stared at a gigantic Northern in the shallow part of the lake and walked too far in old converse sans socks. It was a gorgeous day though, and I was so glad to spend the time with my little girl. She had a blast. Then we hit the grocery store. That was annoying, as usual. But we had a good day over all.

Last night, I had the privilege of seeing Conan O’Brian live. We also saw the masturbating bear outside. Not the real one, but a pretty good imitator. I know tickets are about as easy to attain as a cure for the common cold, but if you can, GO SEE THIS SHOW. I have not laughed that hard in a long time, and CANNOT WAIT for his TBS show to start.

And to wrap up this post – THIS IS THE DUMBEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. It’s not far from this atrocity. Either way, if I see anyone on either of these contraptions, consider yourself throat punched.

Twitter Tat Tour.

6 Comments

Posted 14 May 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category blog bidnass, cancer sucks, RAD

I enjoyed looking at fellow twatter’s tattoos, so I thought I’d share mine too! Exciting, yes?

SO.

The first tattoo I ever got was three stars on my lower back. Yep. Tramp stamp. I haz one. Anyway, I was 19 and star tattoos were all the rage. And I really like stars. Don’t ask why. I shit you not, I went on my PC, opened up Publisher, used the “star” tool, made three stars and printed it. I then brought it to a tattoo place not far from my apartment (Ink Lab on Lake Street) and said “I want this.” The guy (who’s name I don’t recall because I didn’t care) honestly said “Stars are hard to do because they’re so precise.” Did this make me stray? NO. I was like, “Oh, well…do the best you can!” an hour (and $150!!) later, I had three stars on my back. One of them is wonky. But I had a tattoo. I hid it for a while from my parents until I hugged someone in front of them, up came the shirt, and there it was for all to see. Whatevs.

My second tattoo was the cherry blossom branches surrounding my lame stars, which I had done in the summer of 2006. I was lucky enough to have Jon at Uptown Tattoo do it for me (his waiting list is almost a year now). I love my branches. (The picture above was taken shortly after I had it done, complete with tape marks on my back.) I’m obsessed with Japanese art, and cherry blossoms rank pretty high on that list. This tattoo took three hours. THREE HOURS. I did pretty well though, until the last 30 minutes. I could barely tolerate the pain anymore. But I love them. The edges of the tattoo wrap onto my hips a bit and have not been saved from pregnancy stretch marks, but they’re still pretty.

The last tattoo I got was on my foot in October of 2008. I got it for two reasons; one was for my aunt Julie, who had passed away earlier in the year after a battle with breast cancer, and the other was because a month earlier I had walked over 60 miles in the Breast Cancer 3-Day. I had initially planned on a 1/4 – 1/2 sleeve of a geisha (she loved Japanese art too), but I freaked out. It was going to be $800 (which I didn’t have) and take 8 hours. A huge commitment, both time AND skin-wise, and I wasn’t ready yet. So I used my appointment with Zack at Uptown Tattoo to have this done instead. It’s a pink ribbon in the shape of a J (for Julie) “pinned” to my foot, for the 3-day.

I love this tattoo a lot. It only took about 40 minutes but OH MY GOD do foot tattoos hurt. See the ribbon curling up on the right side of my foot? I almost cried. That part of your foot has NO FAT and is like, straight bone. And apparently eleventy BILLION nerve endings. But so worth it.

So, those are my tattoos! I’m still wanting about a billion more, so when I do – of COURSE I’ll let you know. I have a few in mind I would like to have done soon. That geisha 1/2 sleeve is still calling to me.