My appointment didn’t exactly answer too many questions, but I’m pretty sure my cervix did change over the weekend. This is basically what the MW said in a nutshell.

She said that there’s two layers (or openings) to the cervix, and that she was able to get a finger through the first but the second was closed. She said I was soft but thick, and the baby was at -3. She said she would expect to see this kind of cervix in a woman that was more like 34-36 weeks along. (The MW I saw on Thursday seemed to imply that my cervix was right where it should be for a 30 weeker.) So, I don’t know if I am officially dilated, but I have another appointment early Friday morning where I will get checked again. She thinks I have an irritable uterus, or something of that sort. Baby was good, heart rate in the 140s…ute was measuring on track.

Since I pretty much just sit at my desk all day, she said she wasn’t recommending bedrest, but if I have a lot of contractions in the evening or morning before work, that I should probably stay home.

So…still, no drastic measures, nothing alarming, but they’re definitely keeping a stronger eye on me. It’s all just annoying now.

Well, the obnoxious news that I tested positive for fFN was enough to put me on lots of rest, even if my midwife said “just don’t do anything out of the ordinary.” After talking to my mom & the hubs, we all determined that my “ordinary” is way more than most people’s (I can’t sit still anymore) so, I did a lot of couch and bed laying…and a little bit of walking around. The result? Lots of morning contractions (timable to nearly 3-5 minutes apart at times) and evening cramping…which was at it’s worst on Friday night, and had another bout of on Saturday night. It’s kind of scary- the cramping feels like menstrual cramps, but it radiates into my upper legs (which I read in What to Expect can be a sign of pre-term labor). The Midwife on call on Friday night recommended a bath and going to bed. It was 8:30pm. So, I took a bath and re-assumed the position on the couch. I felt better.

Overall, the weekend was mostly without alarms, but I’m totally on high-alert and it sucks. I was able to get in today to get checked again to make sure nothing is happening, no progress is being made (instead of waiting until Friday which was the earliest I could get in before). That will ease my mind. I’m pretty hopeful that I’m not dilating…but if I AM, I want them to start intervening NOW. I can’t go the next 7-9 weeks worrying daily that any contractions or cramping are dilating me and putting me more at risk of pre-term labor.

Good news is, the baby seems to be okay through all this – still moving and hiccuping like normal. I’d still wish they’d take a peek inside via ultrasound so I could get that reassurance as well…but I’ll take what I can get at this point. Well wishes and prayers are still being accepted! I’m hoping I don’t need them.

How far along? 31 weeks.
Total weight gain/loss: Up 25ish lbs or so.
Maternity clothes? Casual summer ended today, so I’m wearing my maternity style work pants, thanks to Mom! (I got 2 pair of pants and 3 shirts for my B-day, which is Sunday!)
Stretch marks? Belly is stretchie free!
Sleep: A little better. Was up twice last night to pee, and had my first kick that actually woke me up. That was new.
Best moment this week: I’m going to go ahead and say NOT going into labor over the weekend.
Movement: Oui.
Food cravings: (I’m going to leave this up because it still stands.) I would like a big slice of marble cake with vanilla frosting. (My birthday IS in 5 days. *cough*getmeacakehubs*cough*)
Gender: I’m back to girl. My Dad and MIL are the only ones thinking boy. Maybe the hubs too.
Labor Signs: See below. *sigh*
Belly Button in or out? Flat as all get-out.
What I miss: Not being scared of going into labor.
What I am looking forward to: Getting checked again. I might be the only lady on the planet who’s stoked about getting an internal. That…and making it to at LEAST 35 weeks.
Weekly Wisdom: If something doesn’t feel right – call or head to the doc. It can’t hurt.
Milestones: Making it one more week is a milestone enough.

I’m going through a weird time with this pregnancy…filled with odd anxieties and excitement. Maybe it’s just par for the course at this point in the 9 months…but yeah…freaking myself out.

I have this irrational fear that something is wrong. That I’m somehow leaking amniotic fluid or that the baby has developed some weird issue. Do I have anything to back up these feelings? No. Not really. I’m thinking it’s mostly due to the insane amount of braxton hicks I’m having and the fact that I haven’t technically seen the baby for 2.5 months. I’m all worried that I’m going to go into labor like, tomorrow. Again…unfounded. I’m worried that my belly doesn’t seem to have gotten any bigger in the past couple of weeks.

I don’t have another appointment until the 17th. I don’t know if I can wait that long to have someone reassure me that everything looks okay.

In other, less stressful news – our first birthing class is at 6:30 tonight. HOLY CRAP. And the baby’s room is coming along quite well. Still waiting to take some more pictures until a couple more prints have been hung.