Maybe I should have gone to detox.

Posted 07 Mar 2012 in I am a moron, not so much

I haven’t had a soda since Sunday.

I’ve had a debilitating headache since 2pm on Monday.

I thought maybe it was sinuses since my eyes hurt, and well as my forehead, but I’m not having any other symptoms (ie snot over-production).

In the meantime, my back has been whack (see what I did there?) so I went to the chiropractor yesterday thinking it would help my headache and my back. My upper back’s been giving me grief for a week, and then yesterday the lower back was getting achy.

So, I got an adjustment. My upperback? Awesome. My lower back? Completely unusable. I can’t do anything. I can’t bend over, I can’t walk normal, I can’t even pick up Abbers. It hurts all the time. Fer Christ’s sake – I’m sitting at my desk at work with my heating pad on. I BROUGHT MY HEATING PAD TO WORK. Ugh. I’m old.


Turns out I’m suffering from caffeine withdrawal. Symptoms can include headache (which can last from 1-5 days, and centers behind the eyes, and then to the front of the head), lethargy, insomnia, fatigue, and flu like symptoms, such as nausea, vomiting, muscle pain and stiffness.

Part of me is like, well, I should just have a soda and it’ll make everything better! But then I think about crack addicts and they’re all like “I’ll just smoke more crack and then I won’t feel bad anymore!” Granted, I know a 32 oz cup of Coca-cola is no crack, but I just don’t know what to do. It’s just soda. Lord knows I’m not giving it up for good, just trying to cut back. But this? RIDICULOUS. I might just have one during lunch to see if my headache subsides. Ibuprofen won’t touch it. Like, 600mgs of ibuprofen.

Isn’t there some place called the Palms where I can detox with celebs? Someone send me there.


  1. Try some excedrine migraine. It has caffeine in it, so it can be like when those crack heads go on methadone to help get them sober up from the crack.
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  2. TheNextMartha

    wow. I had no idea the list of symptoms of caffeine withdrawl Which now brings me to the weekend when my husband insisted he needed to stay in bed all weekend bc he felt really SICK but had no symptoms except the above. hmmmmmmmmmm Good luck!

  3. Next time, try Excedrin instead of ibuprofen. Excedrin has some caffeine in it, which should help even you out. You could also try something with less caffeine, like tea, which will help with the headaches but isn’t nearly as unhealthy. Good luck!
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