Archive for the ‘motherhood’ Category

The 4th of July Staycation

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Posted 11 Jul 2013 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category house stuffs, marriage, motherhood, paparazzi

I hate the word “staycation.” And I just used it in a post title. Apocalypse Maybe.

Anyway, HI. Long time no…type. I’m alive. Clearly.

Over the 4th…the hubs and I ended up with a four-day weekend. I nearly exploded with excitement, mostly because FOUR DAYS OFF. AND NO REAL PLANS. At least, plans that would take us away from home. It was glorious.

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To celebrate the beginning of a LONGGGGG weekend, we got tickets to the Twins game and brought Abby, who requested cotton candy, chicken strips, french fries, popcorn and gum. And when the game was over and the fireworks began, used her trusted blankie as some sort of invisibility cloak.

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On the holiday itself, we headed to a lake and I managed to burn my stomach and one knee (thanks spray sunscreen!), and lots of swimming and lounging was to be had. It got up to nearly 90 (and stayed there all weekend) so the lake was an excellent choice. We had planned to bring Abby to see more fireworks in the evening, but after the previous night’ s “if I’m under this blanket the fireworks aren’t really happening” move, we decided to leave her with Papa & Nana and go watch fireworks with our friends. And drink. And also drink. And stay out late sans kid.

The next day I woke up and my hair looked like this.

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90+ degree heat and drinking and hangover will apparently have some sort of affect on me.

We spent a good chunk of Friday at the movie theater, taking Abby to her first ever movie, Despicable Me 2. Her review was “I didn’t like the movie, but the hummus was good.” (They have fun size packages of hummus at our movie theater. Which…if they had that at the theater when I was a kid…I probably would have thrown up on it. It’s like sneaking vegetables into a movie theater. WRONG. But…in our case THANK YOU FOR SELLING HUMMUS, AMC.) So essentially, she liked being at the theater, just wasn’t a huge fan of the movie. She’s stoked for when “Planes” comes out.

Saturday we went to a BBQ at a friend’s house, and Sunday was a lazy day with one house showing and a 3 hour nap for myself. A win, if I do say so.

As for the house, we’re nearing our 50th showing and still no offers to be had. It’s almost comical at this point. I joked to our realtor that maybe this is karma for the nearly 100 houses we looked at before even making an offer on the one we’re now trying to sell…but it’s seeming less “HAHA” funny and more of a “quiet, silently weeping” kind of funny. Someday someone will buy it. I just hope it’s still 2013 when that happens.

I’ve been actively attempting to learn to run lately as well, and I can honestly say I really enjoy it. Unfortunately, it’s taken me over 2 months to complete the first week of my training app I have on my iPhone (it’s called Get Running and I adore it), due to my lack to time to run…but I’ve been finding more time lately, and hurting less after I run. I think I’ve finally reached the point where I want to run more than I feel like I have to. Points for a less sloth-like existence!

I’m a Negative Nancy.

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Posted 05 Jun 2013 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category marriage, motherhood, RAD

And I could not be happier.

Last Thursday, for the first time since December, I pissed on a pregnancy test and got a negative. (That means not pregnant…in case there was any confusion.)

And today, I had the final blood draw that indicated I am officially no longer showing the pregnancy hormone. I totally have a vacant uterus AND I COULD NOT BE HAPPIER.

Thing is, a month ago, this was not even close to being the case. A month ago, I had to have another D&C to get rid of remaining tissue that wasn’t taken care of the first time. This time though? They FINALLY got it all. I am finally back to being “normal.”

Meanwhile, nobody wants to buy our house, I’m swamped at work, and my kid just farted on me 4 times and exclaimed that she simply “can’t stop.” So…while things are annoying and my kid is turning out to be gross…I have something to be happy about.

Oh. And something else. I TOTALLY SCORED FLOOR TICKETS TO JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE. (In February 2014.) If the stars align, I’ll be the (possibly pregnant) lady in her mid-30’s laugh-crying because she’s so close to the guy on stage wearing a suit & tie. Also standing next to her husband who is pretending to not know who the crazy lady is next to him.

 

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The Skinny. The Deets. Where We’re At.

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Posted 02 May 2013 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category Abigail, house stuffs, marriage, motherhood, paparazzi, toddler business

I realized yesterday as I was doing God knows what, that I have a tendency to talk about something here and then never really follow up with what happened with it. That’s not helpful.

So, here’s a bit of an update on how things are going in our house.

Abby’s Sleep Training

Abby earned her bike. She made it 12 days of falling asleep on her own. After about a week, we started sitting outside of her door (first cracked open, then closed). Now we just read a book, say goodnight, and then leave the room. Granted, she’s still stalling some nights for another 20 minutes (I have to go potty, I need a hug, where’s my blankie), but we’re not laying with her until she falls asleep anymore.

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See also: we actually watched a movie after she went to bed this week. A WHOLE MOVIE. Now we need to work on getting her to bed sooner. (We recently started using a Dohm Sound Machine in her room, and it’s amazing how much better she is sleeping. We used it in our room for a bit and it’s really nice. Highly recommended.) Awesome level: FRICKING AWESOME.

Our House

We’ve had a total of 10 showings and 2 open houses. The second open house was for agents, and we got awesome feedback. One thought she might have a buyer, another stated he didn’t think our house would last through the weekend. (I hope that guy doubles as a psychic.) Our 11th showing is happening in an hour. It’s been trying to keep the house clean, but we’ve been doing a good job and only have to do minor tidying every evening and morning before we leave. Although, our dishwasher broke last night, so that’s going to suck until it’s fixed. (The part’s coming tomorrow, and the hubs and I are going to try to DIY that shit. We’ll see about that.) Basically, BUY MY HOUSE. Awesome level: Almost Awesome.

My Uterus

Sorry. Awkward title. I guess maybe not so much my ute as my bloodwork? Anyway, eight days after this post, I got back test results indicating the Anti-C in my system was no longer there. (HUGE EFFING SIGH OF RELIEF.) The Anti-D was still there, but from the Rhogam shot so no worries. The bigger issue now is that I still have HCG in my system. (In case you’re not in the know, HCG is the chemical your body produces when you’re pregnant (and is what pregnancy tests detect to give a positive result).) I wrote about how prior to the D&C that my levels were 132,000 IU/L (which is pretty high), but would drop after the procedure. It has dropped, but here I am, 3 months later, and still getting positive pregnancy tests. Isn’t that fun? My levels were checked last Friday, and after last month’s reading was 189 IU/L, I’m down to 98 IU/L. (5 IU/L or less is considered 0.) I can’t believe it’s taking this long. Apparently, neither can my doctor, as I’m having an ultrasound on Monday to make sure nothing was “missed,” which kind of freaks me out, but I’m just looking for answers and “normal” to happen. (And no, not actually pregnant again.) Awesome level: Nope. Not at all awesome.

So, there you have it. Did I recap all the things? I hope so.

 

Abby Fought The Wall And The Wall Won.

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Posted 25 Apr 2013 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category Abigail, motherhood, other people are awesome, paparazzi, toddler business

I’ve had The Clash in my head since Tuesday night. Except replacing “the law” with “the wall.” It’s just too fitting for Abby’s most recent episode.

Tuesday night, as the three of us were at the in-law’s home (waiting out another house showing) (buy my house), Abby and Papa were playing “bug hunt” in the basement. Apparently, Abby was enthusiastically running away from the vacuum when she ran straight into a wall (or a corner?), face first. I wasn’t in the room, but could hear a thud followed by blood curdling screams. I could tell almost immediately that she was for-real-seriously hurt, but when I saw her on the bottom step of the basement stairs with blood covering her face and Papa’s hand, I got woozy.

“Mom mode” kicked in and I quickly carried her up the stairs for a closer look. Nana got a paper towel and an ice cube, and we put them on her bleeding lip. It was then I realized it wasn’t just a split lip, but two perfect teeth marks DEEP into her lower lip. I knew we had to take her to the ER. This was looking like stitch territory.

intheER (My “I am not amused” face.)

This isn’t her first trip to the ER rodeo. Back when she was nearly 1.5 years old we took her in for croup-related stridor. This though? Scary on a totally different level. She was hysterical from the pain and seeing all the blood, but we piled into the hubs’ car and headed in.

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Thankfully, after having her lip cleaned up (and out) (gross) the doc decided that although she could put a stitch in each hole, they would probably heal up just as well on their own, with less irritation from the stitches. (THANK GOD. Holding my child while she gets a stitch in her lip? NO THANK YOU.) She was allowed to leave with nothing more than a printout of “laceration home treatment” and a blue slushie, with the nurse letting us know that her lip was likely going to look “like hamburger” for a few days.

(He wasn’t lying. Also, he looked like Meatloaf aka “Bitch Tits” from the movie Fight Club. It really rounded out the whole ER experience.)

Abbers and I stayed home from school & work yesterday to let her face rest, and to ice her lip every few hours as the doc had prescribed. She used the time to practice being a princess. And also to eat all the food. Does a traumatic event usher in endless hunger? Girlfriend ate about 3,428 Angry Birds Honey Grahams.

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Today she went back to school and while her lip looks like something out of a horror movie, she assures me it doesn’t hurt so I think she’s on the mend. We took the train into downtown and I kind of felt like yelling, “STOP JUDGING, EVERYONE ON THIS TRAIN.”

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(Sidenote: I texted my bestie during this ordeal and she mentioned what I (of course) was thinking – “Has CPS stopped by yet? :)” because GOOD LORD. Thankfully this clearly was a “toddler coordination” issue, but I’ve heard horror stories of “interviews” during ER visits from people I’ve shared this story with. So glad that wasn’t a part of this experience.)

All in all, quite the Tuesday night.

In house related news, we have another showing tomorrow (buy our house) but no offers yet. SOMEONE BUY MY HOUSE. KTHX.

Selling Our House Is Making Me Feel All The Feels.

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Posted 22 Apr 2013 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category house stuffs, marriage, motherhood, not so much, paparazzi, toddler business

You guys. This house selling business? Pretty much the dumbest thing we’ve ever decided to do. I mean, yeah – in the end it will be a new chapter in our lives that shapes…blah blah zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Sorry. So tired. Because BUY MY HOUSE.

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After stressing for a few weeks, and staging, purging, organizing, cleaning, and shoving all remaining items into closets, drawers, and please don’t look under our bed…our house hit the market Saturday morning. And minutes later, we had our first showing scheduled. Yesterday we had another, and then an open house.

It’s only been 3 days and I’m already freaking out. What if nobody buys it. What it the reasons I want to move are all the things people can see in the house?

The first couple ‘s feedback was A great house. Number two on our list. Good. VERY good.

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The second couple’s feedback? Too close to high school. Uh….I KNOW. As a newly married couple who bought this house over five years ago? We could literally give a fuck. We had many fucks to give on this topic. Now? GET OFF MY LAWN WITH YOUR CHEETOS BAGS YOU JERKS. But seriously, for 2.5 years of being in this house I didn’t care. Now? I just want a more family friendly hood in an awesome school district. (I’m so old.) So…someone has to have the capacity to look past that small issue, right? Because we did?

Back to this being a dumb idea – who the hell can keep their house this clean? I mean, I can’t even BEGIN to imagine what happens to larger families with houses that sit on the market for MONTHS. How do you keep a house SPOTLESS for that long? I mean, we’ve had ours “photo ready” since Friday and already I feel like the worst mom on the planet. On Sunday, two hours before a showing and open house, Abby managed to spill her apple juice three times that morning. After the third time I sternly told her “WE ARE TRYING TO KEEP THE HOUSE CLEAN AND YOU’RE MAKING MAMA SAD WHEN YOU SPILL.” (Great parenting, me. That’ll stop three-year-old clumsiness.) No less than 5 minutes later, I heard her in the bathroom doing something and left my kitchen cleaning to make sure she wasn’t messing something up. When I entered the bathroom she jumped and dropped the hand towel she was struggling to retrieve. I asked her what she was doing, and she answered “nothing” which I’ve already learned is code for “something I will not disclose on the grounds that it may incriminate me.” After some coaxing, she explained that she spilled some more apple juice on the tray in the living room but I was being too mean so she didn’t want to tell me. She was going to try to clean it up herself. When I went in the living room, it was the smallest dot of juice.

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I nearly broke down in bad mama tears in front of her, but kept it in check. I was turning into a crazy person trying to keep the house clean and also managing to make my three year old terrified of me. I gave her a big hug and said sorry that I was being mean, and that I didn’t mean it. I informed her that I would be nicer, gave her a paper towel in case she spilled again (and that accidents happen and it’s not a big deal!) and that when she sells her first house she can think back on this moment when her mama had her foot in the insane asylum door and realize that selling your house really is the dumbest idea ever.

Because THEN when we looked at other houses I started getting all sad because I LIKE MY HOUSE YOU GUYS. I really do. If I could pick it up and move it somewhere else I probably would. Of course, it was built in 1932 and I feel like moving it might have structural implications, so we’re not going to explore that avenue.

I just…so many things, you guys. People who buy houses and then fix them up only to sell them again? And also do this as a business? WITH THEIR FAMILIES? Have to be slightly crazy and also on lots of emotion numbing medication because I don’t know how I’m going to get through this without there being many tears for many reasons.

This was such a dumb idea.

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