9 months.

Posted 27 Jul 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category Abigail, motherhood, paparazzi

Abs-ca-dabs,

So, you’re 3/4 of a year old. I cannot begin to describe how awesome and incredibly sad that is all at once. You’re full of movement now – you’re pretty much crawling, just pulled yourself to standing for the first time tonight, and also have your 5th and 6th teeth coming in. You’ve learned the cutest tricks, including open mouth kissing and feeding us your bottles and puffs. You’re also kind of repeating us, in your own way. (Which is hope stays at your minimal levels, since I recall yelling “JESUS CHRIST YOU DOUCHE WIPE.” at a car while we were driving home from your grandparents this evening.)

(He had it coming.)

(Do as I…uh…say…in theory. Not as I do. Or say.)

I love you more than words can say. I can’t even fathom that you’ll be a year old in a few months.

xoxo,
Momma.

Meat in a can.

Posted 27 Jul 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category blog bidnass, other people are awesome

Let me just start by saying, HOLY SPAM Batman. I’ve NEVER had as much spam commenting on my blog until recently. I hate how it fakes me out into thinking I have SO MANY people who want to comment and then notice it’s stuff like “You will discover ed hardy uk numerous types of clothing ed hardy shoes lines which can be created offered recently.” or something about the insanity workout review.

However, this spam comment made me pee my pants. I’m not going to approve it since the author is “dvd converter,” but here’s the content:

Why stupid people dont use google and expect others to search for them!

This is nothing new i just felt like i should complain again about it, my issue is with stupid people when if they put the same question in Google they would get a answer. It really does shock me to this day with the intelligence of some people. Just makes me want to remove my penis due to i could not stand my children growing up in a world of idiots.

JUST MAKES ME WANT TO REMOVE MY PENIS.

From now on. Whenever something is ridiculous, I’m going to have to say that it just makes me want to remove my penis.

Why are there SEVEN boxes of Kleenex?

Posted 20 Jul 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category motherhood, not so much, TheRapists

The title of this post is the very thought I had when I walked into a room I’m about to become very familiar with – the therapy room.

I had my first visit with a therapist yesterday.

Wait, I should pause for a moment to add this disclaimer. I’m sure some of you are thinking, DOODE. You’re just going to put that out there? For everyone to read? Even people you work with or like, barely know? And the answer is, YES. I almost didn’t get help because I was embarrassed to admit that I couldn’t help myself anymore, that I couldn’t fix my problems the same way I had been. I can only assume there are other people out there, not just people who’ve had babies, who have felt the same way. I’m here to admit that I’m not embarrassed to get help anymore.

Okay, so yeah. First therapy appointment yesterday. Probably THE WORST day to meet a therapist for the first time. I got about 5 hours of sleep the night before and had spent the 5 hours before going to bed and after waking up working on a project for work that was launching at the same time as my appointment. (Can you say STRESSED OUT?!)

One of the many lessons I learned yesterday is that, NO…I CANNOT WORK FROM HOME. I mean, I got stuff done, but Abby was all “MOMMA LOOOOOOOOOOOOK” but instead of saying that she was all “BAAAAAAAA MMAAAAA DADADADAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” until I’d pick her up. And then she’d try to dismantle my work laptop via teeth and fingernails that needed to be trimmed.

ANYWAY, I showed up to my appointment without the papers she wanted filled out because I couldn’t find a printer that worked in the 30 minutes I had before my appointment. She didn’t mind, and escorted me into the therapy room.

It was small, felt like a den in someone’s home, and had SEVEN OPEN BOXES of Kleenex. I couldn’t believe it. I was like – WTF. Who needs this much Kleenex?

Within 20 minutes I had answered my own question. I cried so hard I couldn’t speak for almost 2 minutes.

I spilled everything I’d been bottling up for the last three or four months. Because I did feel better than I had a month ago, and I wasn’t as scared of my thoughts anymore, I admitted the horrible thoughts I’d had but was no longer having, even though I still had a fear she’d try to admit me to a hospital or have Abby taken away from me. I told her about how I was starting to have episodes where I felt like I might explode, and just wanted to sit down where I was, cover my ears and scream. That sometimes knowing I’ll be in certain situations makes me want to curl into the fetal position and rock myself into oblivion. That I am constantly full of worry and totally unable to verbalize any of this to anyone for fear of how they’ll handle my thoughts.

We went through the dreaded depression checklist. By the end of my appointment, she was leaning towards my having anxiety issues moreso than depression. We’re meeting again soon to discuss my pregnancy and labor. She wasn’t also ruling out the possibility of PTSD after my labor experience.

When it was over, I walked outside and took a big deep breath. The sun was out for the first time that day. I felt like, twenty pounds lighter. I know everyone says “it’s like a weight is lifted off your shoulders” when you talk to someone for the first time, but it was. That was when I tweeted this:

I’m just so looking forward to not feeling this way anymore. I think I was ramping up to this for a long time, and my pregnancy was just the trigger to make it unmanageable. I don’t even care anymore though. I just want to be better, and I feel like I might be able to now.

Wanna know how big of a nerd I am?

Posted 15 Jul 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category other people are awesome, RAD

This is the trailer for a movie coming out in October called The Social Network.

I got chills while watching it.

It’s all about Drama! and the Internets! and Dorks! AND JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE! (!!!)

So, essentially, it’s Mrs. Jenna porn.

Read about it a little more if you should so desire.

jbd;isugef;gr!

Posted 15 Jul 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category baby business, marriage, motherhood

Yep, I just used the standard “OMFGIAMSOBUSY!” keyboard move to indicate that, YES. I AM VERY BUSY.

I had a bachelorette party last weekend, one this weekend and a baby shower as well; work is busier than I’ve been in years and we can’t forget I HAVE A NEARLY 9 MONTH OLD ON MY HANDS.

I knew this month was going to fly by, I just didn’t think it would go by THIS fast.

So here’s one of those awesome “recap” posts that always make me roll my eyes but OMG YOU GUYS. I have no time. Could someone loan me a day? I really just need one day. Preferably between Saturday and Sunday. We’ll call it Satunday. Wait. That’s too close to Satanday. How about Sunturday? Sure. We’ll go with that.

  • Abbers’ right front tooth is making it’s way in as we speak. I always try to take pictures but every time she sees me focusing in on them, she purses up her lips and pretty much gives me the “back off beeetch” eyes. So you’ll have to wait, dear internets, to see those toofies for yourselves.
  • It was roughly the surface of the sun here yesterday in good ol’ Minneaps. I am so thankful we have central air. Most houses in our hood do not. Although, there is something comforting about remembering lying in bed as a kid, sweating and praying the box fan in the window would magically turn into an AC. Abby will probably never know what it’s like to not have AC until she moves into her first apartment. (Okay. I just typed that and started crying. Thanks PMS!)
  • I had my consultation at Uptown Tattoo for my latest and greatest. I’m not going to talk about it here, you’ll just have to wait until September when I have it done. Needless to say I AM STOKED. I also have an appointment in August (after BlogHer) to get my foot touched up, which will hurt more than birthing babies.
  • I also finally made an appointment with a lady to talk about The Funk. I HAVE been feeling better lately, but I still get blue and have my moments where I think “I am not handling this well.” I have my first appointment on Monday. I’m both excited and scared shitless to talk to a woman I don’t know about the horrible thoughts that have run through my head.
  • I owe my bestie about 3,592 emails. She also owes me a blog post. :) I’ll start emailing, you start writing!

And…that’s that. Sorry all you’re getting lately is bulleted lists. Someday when I’m not having to block time on my calendar to take a piss, you’ll get a real solid post. Until then? UL tags all the way! (Yep. I code-monkeyed all over that shiz.)