Posted 26 Apr 2010 in Abigail, other people are awesome

I’ve been thinking of blogging about something for a while and haven’t, just because it was still too new. Sitting here with Abby in my lap, I feel like I have to say it now.

Three weeks ago Wednesday I went to the hospital to say goodbye to my friend Sarah. When I got there, her friends and family were all gathered at her bedside, going around saying why they were thankful for her. We started with eyes, then ears, mouth, and so on. When we got to her hands, her mother said something I will never forget as long as I live.

She said, “I am thankful for Sarah’s hands, because if you bend her fingers back just so, you can see the dimples she had in her hands as a baby.”

I couldn’t even breathe after she said it. I’ve lost family & friends before, but never as a mother. For the first time I understood the real pain of losing a child. It’s so cliche, but when people say “You don’t even know how much you can love until you have a child of your own…” it’s so true. It’s so true…it almost hurts when you love that much.

So now, when I sit with Abby in my lap, staring at her hands, I think of Sarah. Every time I see the dimples in her knuckles…it’s Sarah. It’s still new enough that it makes me tear up and be sad. I know that someday I’ll see those dimples and smile. I’m looking forward to that day.


  1. thenextmartha

    Awe. So precious. *tear*

  2. I’m so sorry about your friend. That is such a great moment and I thank you for sharing. It’s reasons like this I love blogs and blogging. Sometimes I feel we share more on here than we do in real life and I really do think it’s theraputic. Take comfort in your daughter! I agree about loving your child more than anything and how you could never understand until you had your own. So true is right.

  3. It made me tear up thinking of how hard it must be for Sarah’s mother! I think any time we lose someone we love we take a little more time to appreciate the people around us, the people we care about.

  4. This gave me goosebumps. I can’t even imagine the pain of losing a child. You can tell that she had an amazing mother… only a mother could remember a little detail like that. :)

    I pray for your comfort and I’ll make sure to kiss all of M’s dimples a few extra times everyday.

  5. C

    I am sorry about your friend. I love looking at my daughters hands too, and when I look at them today I will be saying a little prayer for you, your friend and her family that must be missing her so much.

  6. That just knocked the breath out of me.


  7. That was so beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing that. I am truly sorry for your loss.

  8. Oh wow.
    Loss certainly has a new depth since my son was born.

  9. This is my first time commenting here, but I had to tell you just how wonderful this story is. What a beautiful way to share the absolute love between a mother and child. Thank you for sharing.

  10. I’m so sorry for your loss. That story brought tears to my eyes. Having a child changes EVERYTHING.

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