Archive for the ‘retail therapy’ Category

Did I mention I’m going to BlogHer?

Posted 29 Jul 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category blog bidnass, other people are awesome, RAD, retail therapy

(that title is a joke, because, well DER.)

Yeah. This is me…panicking.

In 6 days I’m getting in one of those magical soda cans that can fly at high speeds and arriving in New York City where I will meet some of the most awesome ladies and go to parties and also BE IN EFFING NEW YORK. Oh yeah, and maybe learn a thing or two as well.

I have WAY too much to do in the next week. And not enough time to do it in. I also need to include time to panic about flying, my luggage getting lost, nobody talking to me, getting mugged, seeing one of those jumbo rats the size of a dog, and also panic about panicking.

To add fuel to my anxiety filled fire, I ordered a dress for one of the parties, and it was a big fail. So, now I need to travel to the MOA (that’s Mall of America, to you folks outside the Twin Cities area) and try to find some dresses that can be worn both to BlogHer AND a couple weddings I have coming up. And find a glittery obnoxiousness for Sparklecorn.

Sigh. You guys, even though I’m freaking out, I am SO EXCITED. I cannot wait to meet my bloggy friends/idols/twatpeeps in person and share laughing and copious amounts of the drink. CANNOT WAIT.

I hope one or a few of you won’t shy away from skipping a session and going shopping with me. Because SERIOUSLY LADIES. We’ll be in New York. We have to go shopping and drink martinis and also drink martinis while shopping.

Stay tuned, I’m working on a post about what you’ll be missing out on not being my roommate while at BlogHer. (You know, since I’m rooming with the hubs while I’m there.)

I figured out how to spend money at the library.

5 Comments

Posted 30 Jun 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category I am awesome, retail therapy

Only I could do it. I know how to spend money ANYWHERE. And today I did it at the library.

(And no, not on late fees. DURR.)

(But yes, I’ve done that too.)

Anyway, after watching the trailer for the new Harry Potter movie due out in November (Thanks a lot TIFFANY) I made the noble decision that I’m going to read all the Harry Potter books this summer and watch all the movies, so when this one comes out – I’M READY. And yes, I’m implying that I’ve never read or seen any Harry Potter anything. (I can feel a nerd rebellion happening. Can you? It’s like a stampede of dudes with wizard pointers and lightening bolt face tattoos. Not that kind.)

So, off to the library! I should mention I haven’t been to a public library for probably 10 years – no exaggeration. I’ve been buying books and also a lot of NOT READING so libraries have no purpose in my life. However, I am not planning on buying all the Harry Potter books because dudes – that’s a lot of dollars.

My first stop was making sure my library card was even working anymore. Turns out it was. And I didn’t owe them any money! Considering I was a mere $1200 in debt when I used my library card last and couldn’t pay it off for the life of me, this was welcome news. Then…off to the card catalog! Oh, they don’t have those anymore? Yeesh.

I am not even joking you when I say that the last time I was in the library I had to use a real card catalog. At the time, the Walker Library had just installed COMPUTERS! WITH INTERNET! AND A WEBSITE! that was not exactly functional yet. Now, there’s fancy stations with the ability to search the catalog AND RESERVE your books, all at your fingertips! Technology is sexy. Anyway, I navigated the website, and found that Harry Potter books were in fact kept in the children’s section. Awesome. I’m nearing 30 and checking out children’s books. Whatevs.

Except, they’re out. OF EVERY HARRY POTTER BOOK EVER WRITTEN. Apparently not only did I have the idea to read some Harry Potter over the summer, but so did every other child person in the metro area. I put the first book on hold. As well as two adult books recommended by my mother and another I’ve been meaning to read. It seems as though the only way to get the book you want to read is to reserve it and have it delivered to the library of your choice.

(Do you see I’m number 445 of 445 people who have requested the new Tami Hoag book? I’ll probably be moved to the #1 position in 2037.)

I walked out of the library without anything to read and was about to leave when I saw something called “The Bookstore.” I walked in and HOLY CRAP! They’re selling old books removed from circulation! They had a cart labeled “Children’s Classics” and this is where I went buck-wild.

In case it’s not clear in the photo, I walked out of there with:

Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White
The Mouse and the Motorcycle by Beverly Cleary
Ramona Quimby, Age 8 by Beverly Cleary
Ramona the Brave by Beverly Cleary
Ramona Forever by Beverly Cleary
Ramona and her Mother by Beverly Cleary
The Missing Piece by Shel Siverstein
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
Walt Disney’s Alice in Wonderland

All these books FOR $9.43. $9.43!!!

Obviously I have a minor obsession with Ramona Quimby books. I am essentially forcing Abbers to read them as well.

I also had On the Banks of Plum Creek and The Long Winter by Laura Ingalls Wilder in my hands, but since I didn’t have the beginning books in the series, I put them down.

If anything while I wait for my Harry Potter book to become available, I’ll read Charlotte’s Web since I’ve never read it before. And then I’ll read Harry Potter. And then maybe someday I’ll pick up a book with swearing and murder in it like I normally do.

six months + six dresses: april + june

5 Comments

Posted 25 Jun 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category paparazzi, retail therapy, six dresses + six months

Yeah, I know. I totally still owe you a picture of May’s dress, but i don’t have one yet so BEAR WITH ME.

Without further adieu….

APRIL!

Sorry about the awkward pose.

Yeah. I’m laying down. Probably not the best shot to show off the best dress of the three I have, but it’s the only photo I have at this point. DEAL. Anyway, this dress is from Anthropologie and I LOVE IT WITH ALL MY HEART. I would wear it every day if I could. I tried finding it on their website, but the hubs bought this for me all the way back in April while we were in Vegas and I don’t know if they have it anymore. Plus, when I went to their site to find it I got really REALLY distracted by their pretty clothes and suddenly I had $400 worth of stuff in my cart and my credit card in my hand. I stopped myself. Somehow. But yes, I LOVE THIS DRESS. Maybe someday I’ll get a photo where I’m standing. In the meantime, enjoy my Miss America smile and my bangs growing out into MY FACE.

JUNE!

POCKETSSSSSS!

Here I am contemplating how on God’s green earth I found an awesome dress WITH POCKETS! AT TARGET! This is now my second favorite dress. Mostly because of the pockets. But also? Because it was like, $20. What did we do without Target, people? See those sunglasses? TARGET. Boo-to-the-YEAH.
(Also, if you’re interested – Watch: Fossil, Necklace: Personalized Keepsake Locket by Justice Juels.
Inquisitive, Kick-Ass Attitude: Brought to you by YOURS TRULY)

Why rompers are bad

8 Comments

Posted 25 Jun 2010 — by Mrs. Jenna
Category I am a moron, not so much, retail therapy

Recently, I purchased a romper at Target. I have since come to realize that I was drawn to the fabric print more than the “fashion-don’t” itself, but hindsight is 20/20, eh? I thought to myself, “I have an outdoor concert to go to on Saturday – if it’s hot, THIS WILL BE PERFECT!” WRONG.

Anyway, ROMPERS. In and of itself sound like toddlerwear. BECAUSE THEY ARE. Adults are not meant to wear rompers..for a number of reasons.

Do you see the results? MEANT FOR BABIES.

Right, so…why are rompers wrong? Well, first – let me tell you: I had fully intended on taking a photo of myself in this romper I purchased (see below) REGARDLESS of how I looked in it. THAT’S how confident I was that I wouldn’t look like shit. I was SO WRONG.

The romper in question

I tried it on in my bedroom (Do you understand that I actually purchased one without trying it on? Who the hell do I think I am? Heidi Klum!?) and OH MY GOD. Hot mess doesn’t even begin to describe what I looked like in this thing.

The romper in question did three things for my body, none of which are good:

Hey, look! You’re five months pregnant! Oh, you’re not? WELL YOU LOOK LIKE YOU ARE.
A serious case of NoAssAtAll. And trust me, after bearing a child and being on this very earth for nearly 30 years, I HAVE AN ASS.
Yeah, I know…I have shitty posture. This romper is all, “Here! LET ME ACCENTUATE THAT FOR YOU.”

So, as quickly as it was on, it was off and lying on my bedroom floor. I poked it with a stick a few times to make sure it was really dead and stuck it back in the Target bag whence it came.

After this horrorshow, it dawned on me how horrible it would have been had I actually decided to wear it to this concert. Let’s just pretend for a second that I did look like the fabulous Target model wearing it and got to this outdoor concert. Enter…the PortoPotty.

When children wear rompers, most of the time there are crotch snaps to access poo and pee filled diapers. When ADULTS wear rompers, you pull them down to empty your bladder/poop tubes.

I would have had to sit virtually naked in a PortoJohn to cut a wiz.

I NEVER want to be naked in a PortoPotty.

EVER.

Also, the vision of the lock malfunctioning and the door being opened causing a line of people at the toilets and the entire festival grounds taking a peek at me with A ROMPER AROUND MY ANKLES and nothing else on is both hilarious and probably the worst thing ever. (You know, aside from being locked in a room with “Afternoon Delight” at 11 and on repeat. (PCU! WHAT!))

::breathes::

I took the romper back on Wednesday.

Consider yourself warned.