I’m sorry, people at People – but this is NOT the sexiest man alive. Brad Pitt and George Clooney were worthy of this title, but not this man-boy. Who’s making these decisions?!
I could see these people taking the title, EASY.
But not Matt Damon.
I don’t know if I’ve ever been this tired. This past weekend was one of the busiest I’ve had since I was still wedding planning. Here’s a short recap:
Friday night: Stayed home. Didn’t do much of anything. This was fine, considering the rest of the weekend’s plans. 
Saturday: During the day, went to my friend Janna’s coffee shop opening. Anyone from Minneapolis should hurry up and visit Janine’s Coffee Shop on 1st Street North in Downtown! So cute!
Saturday night: Leslie’s bachelorette party. Technically started around 3pm. Ate meatballs, cocktail weenies and spinach dip until I wanted to burst, then went down 284 water slides at the indoor park near the mall of america. (So much fun, although I’m quite sure I STILL am feeling the burn from all the steps and whatnot.) Stayed overnight at the hotel – got a noise complaint, drank lots of beer, played Apples to Apples, went to bed around 3am.
Sunday: Up at 8am (cause we’re all old and can’t sleep late anymore), ate breakfast and then home. Had to shower quickly and then head to a friends house to watch the football game. MORE eating and drinking. Came home, took a nap. Then…
Sunday night: Went to First Ave to see Brother Ali, Ghostface Killah, and Rakim – with a live band. Was good, would have been more enjoyable if I wasn’t actually falling asleep at a HIP HOP SHOW. Didn’t get home until 1:30am – not asleep until around 2:30am.
And, that brings us to right now. I had about 4 hours of sleep. Combined with my nap yesterday and the sleep from the night before, I’ve had about 10 hours of sleep. It’s going to be a LONG day.
Although I’ve been thinking about this “issue” I have for some time, it kind of dawned on me last night that I think I actually have a problem.
I have a fear of using the phone.
I don’t even know if I’d call it a “fear,” I just don’t like doing it. I avoid it.
It’s weird – there are certain people (my parents & the hubs, and lately his mom) where, if my phone rings and it’s one of them, I have no problem answering it. If I have to call a stranger or order a pizza I have no problem either.
However, when ANYONE else calls (my grandmother, my grandparents, other family, ANY of my friends) I usually don’t answer. It has nothing to do with how I feel about any of these people – I love them all – I just don’t answer. Nor do I return calls when I receive them. I’ll listen to the voicemail within 24 hours, but I never call people back.
I don’t know what it is, if I’m afraid of having a conversation, or afraid of how to carry the conversation…I don’t know. I have no problem emailing people, IMing or texting, but when I actually have to speak to someone on the phone…I just avoid it at all costs.
That kind of makes me feel a little bit better, but not really. My phone rang 3 times last night. One was my friend Leslie (who I had called earlier in the day because I needed details about the weekend – so I HAD to answer it to find out), the other two were Shannon and Alissa. I didn’t answer either. I was sitting on the couch watching a movie on TV. There was no reason for me NOT to answer it.
I have sat with the phone in my hand to answer or call my friends or family – yet I just let it go until the voicemail picks up, or just give up on trying to answer.
I remember this becoming an issue the first time, right after I had a pretty bad car accident when I was about 20 years old. I didn’t call anyone, hang out, leave the house. I didn’t want contact with anyone. I had attributed it to being depressed, and after a while, it got better. It makes me wonder if I am, indeed, depressed again (I don’t feel depressed) – or just have a weird phobia.
I know some of my friends and family read this. I have basically just admitted to avoiding my phone calls. Please don’t take offense to this! I love you all – I just have this weird thing I need to deal with. I just don’t know how.
Thanks for listening. If anyone has any suggestions (aside from scripting calls like a lot of sites have suggested – that’s just weird) let me know. I need to get over this.
Well, my mom informed me that my Auntie Julie was released from the hospital and sent home yesterday (which makes me wonder if the flowers/balloon I ordered even made it to her room before she was discharged?), diagnosed with a relapse of what put her in the hospital 2 years ago, Histoplasmosis. It’s a fungal deal that affects the lungs, that if left untreated, can cause your body to basically shut down. Luckily, she caught it in time again – more than likely a flare up of the same evil from 2 years ago. So…better, but not entirely out of the woods…
In other less serious news, I’ve been having a rough week in the sleep department. Not that I’m not getting any sleep, much the opposite. I’m sleeping well, but have not had one evening that didn’t involve about 3 separate dreams during the night. Last night, I had a few dreams. A couple items from these dreams that stick in my memory are:
Other dreams from this week include:
That’s all I can recall right now. Needless to say, all this brain activity while I’m trying to sleep is making my seemingly restful, full nights of sleep turn me into a zombie the next day. I remember in one of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies, the teenagers took some sort of Anti-Dreaming pill before they went to sleep to stop Freddy – too bad that’s just a shitty horror flick.
My mom just emailed me to tell me my dear Aunt Julie is in the ICU right now. Luckily, since I’ve started blogging, she hasn’t gotten as sick as she was a January ago. Most everyone in the family had traveled home for fear of the worst, but luckily she pulled through. It was a horrible case of double pneumonia on top of her already weak body (due to breast cancer). Julie’s been a trooper dealing with a recent relapse, going through chemo and god knows what else to beat this horrible disease. And now, sadly, she’s back in the ICU.
I don’t handle situations like this as well as I used to when I was younger. I could hold it together then. I’m not so good at it now. I’ve already had to sit in a bathroom stall to cry so my coworkers don’t ask “what’s wrong?” because I simply cannot deal with it.
I know Julie – she is one of the toughest broads I know – tough as nails. She’s climbed mountains, competed in races, and is one of the most sarcastic-funny people you’ll ever meet. That’s why it’s so upsetting when she does get this ill, she’s so tough – to “give in” and go to the hospital means it’s pretty bad, even by her standards.
So far, I don’t think anyone in my family affected by either breast cancer (3 Aunts and a Grandma) or ovarian cancer (other grandma) have been this frighteningly ill – twice. I’m so scared for her. I have to keep telling myself she’ll pull through. I can’t think of what will happen if she doesn’t.
Please…say a prayer for Julie to whatever God you see fit.
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